PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: HOW TO BUY SHIZ AT LA BAGEL DELIGHT

photo: Food City Bytes

FIPS reader Jonny sent along his best advice for how to not get eaten alive while buying a bagel and a cup of coffee at La Bagel Delight. Heed his words, ppl. The dude has some good advice:

As those of us who have spent any time in Park Slope know, the two line system at La Bagel Delight (7th Ave & Carroll St) is completely disorganized and chaotic. 

Since my office is across the street, I’d say I go here about 4-5 times a week for a bagel and coffee.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the place to death, but only because I’ve figured how to gtfo of there without too much confusion.

Here’s what you do: When you hear the word “NEXT!” come from someone behind the counter, and you’ve looked every other customer in the eyes to acknowledge that they’ve already ordered, feel free to shout your order across the room. There is NO need to go to the front of the line, in fact, stay far away from the front of the line until your order is IN A BAG AND READY TO GO.  Don’t you dare try and wiggle your ass up to the front of the line to wait for your order like some princess.  Not only will you have to maneuver around the BREEDERS with their Maclaren spaceships, your order will inevitably arrive after someone else’s, forcing you to finagle your way to the back of the line.

Which line should you go to?  Well, that’s not really your decision.  Pay attention to the person making your order, and when he sounds off that it’s ready, he’ll go up to the cashier and whisper the total to her like he’s a waiter at Peter Fucking Luger.  If you try and tell the cashier your order, she’ll stare at you like you’re speaking Russian.

Pay, and leave.  

Have patience, and don’t panic.  

After a couple of visits, you’ll understand the rhythm of the lines, and get out of there pretty quickly.

Never, ever, under any circumstances, go here on a Sunday.  There are too many clueless noobs that will unknowingly stall your efforts to get out of there in less than five minutes. [ed note: eh, I go in there every Sunday...I'm just prepared for the total fucking insanity. It's mostly fine].