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Park Slope...The Celebutante of BK

Allow me to share a theory I've been fine tuning as of late: Park Slope is the Paris Hilton of Brooklyn.


You might want let that shit marinate in your brain for a minute or two, cause this is some grade A, powerful theoreticals you're about to be peepin.

Park Slope = Paris Hilton.

I've been thinking about this for awhile, and as per u, I'm pretty sure that I'm right the fuck on with this one.

Here's why:

*Everyone claims to hate Paris Hilton, yet she's *always* being talked about - Same fucking thing with PS. Everyone hates Park Slope. Srsly. Try googling "Park Slope sucks" and then cancel your appts for the rest of the day l00zer, cause ur gonna have pages and pages of crap to sift through on the interwebs: Park Slope Food Co-op hippies this...Babies in bars! that. And yet, Park Slope has its own category on virtually all of the major nyc snark blogs: Gawker, Curbed, NY Magazine. People c-a-n-n-o-t stop talking about it. Shit that was one of the *main* reasons we started this motherfucker in the first place! We knew that the mere inclusion of PS in our blog title was pretty much the equivalent of $78.50 in internet currency (I mean, your ass is here right now, sooo....).

*Paris Hilton allegedly represents everything we're supposed to hate about celebrity and fame, and yet we love those very same things in virtually every other celeb but her - Ok, so let's break this shit down: Paris is hot? Check. Great bod? Check. Dumb? Check. Rich? Check. Well connected? Check. Been in trouble with the law? Check. Bad actress? Check Ok, good. We've just described virtually everyone in Hollywood. Moving on to Park Slope: Beautiful? Check. Good schools? Check. Variety of restaurants and shopping? Check. Tight community? Check. Parks, Trees, green shit? Check. Check. Check. Wow, sounds like an absolutely fucking horrendous neighborhood to live in. You should all feel so friggin bad for us. It's totally obvs. why everyone hates Park Slope.

*Paris Hilton is v. rich. AND, Park Slope is pretty darn rich (just ask blognigger).

*Everyone has heard of Paris her or not. I'm sorry, there is not a man, woman or child alive today who has never heard of this bitch. Ditto on the PS front. It's kinda shocking but true: Darren Star is doing a show based on Park Slope, celebs live in Park Slope, shit, even people who know nothin about nothin have heard of Park Slope. If Park Slope had a PR firm, they'd be sittin on a fat christ-makuh bonus right about now.

*PARis Hilton and PARk Slope. Coincidence? I think not.

Ok, so that last one might be lame, but everything else is totally legit.

Park Slope = Paris Hilton.

Try it on. Take a walk around Prospect Park with it. Doodle it on your recyclable, post consumer waste tea cup from Ozzies.

It's out there now.

Reader Comments (4)

Paris Hilton makes me want to hurt people.

November 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I could think of a million places I'd rather stick my dick than Paris Hilton, some of which are inanimate. For srs, I know at least a dozen Polish girls who do the whole "Paris" look better than Paris.

That said Park Slope sounds like a great place to live.

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthe FoOl

@the FoOl: like Sarah Palin for instance?

November 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterErica

The Hierarchy of my Sexual Preference:

J.Alba > 1,000,000 other celebs chicks > some girls I see around at York > Palin > 1,000,000 other chicks > A Wet/Dry Vac at low setting > Light Socket > Paris Hilton w/ 2 condoms

Hilton just isn't my thing man.

November 25, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthe FoOl

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