Park Slope’s Fourth Ave Is Lookin’ Up, Up, Up…
Felicia | Thursday, February 13, 2014 at 7:00AM 
Image via photoshoppix.comFor many months Park Slope peeps have been placin’ bets on what’s going on with 4th Avenue between 10th and 11th Streets. Well, those cute (eh, subjective on the “cute”) little row houses are outta here! They’ll be replaced with a giant 12,000 square foot FroYo mall. I joke people, I joke! Put down your mallets…or maybe pick them up depending on how you feel about what’s really the hap - a humungous luxury high rise rental building goin’ up up up…!
Here is a before picture:
Photo credit: Leslie Albrecht/DNAinfo.com
And here is a rendering of an after picture:
Photo credit: Leslie Albrecht/DNAinfo.com
Which do you like better? Press #1 if you like million-dollar shoddy houses. Press #2 if you like bada-bing fancy pants, albeit sterile, accommodations.
Martin Nussbaum, one of the developers says:
“The development will be a fully amenitized doorman building designed to meet the needs of residents in both Park Slope and rapidly growing Gowanus.”
I’m not a fan of doormen. I prefer to call them awkward spies. It’s another person you have to tip well or he’ll casually mention the wild brony party you had while your significant other was on their yearly yoga retreat. It’s a dude acting all fancy and keeping track of comings and goings and gossip. Oh, I can hear him now “Boy, she’s ordered food delivery again, doesn’t this bitch ever cook for her kids” and “Oh, another giant parcel from Babes in Toyland for apartment 10D. Doesn’t this bitch ever get a real schlong involved?” I’ll judge myself, thank you very much!
I am, however, interested in the full amenities mentioned. My mind goes wild with the possibilities: A hot tub complete with reality TV stars? Nyotaimori? A dingle berry removal service? Those are my fantasy amenities. Got any better ones or are you fine with your building’s current amenities, like lukewarm water most mornings and complimentary menu flyers slid under your door?
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