[My Favorite Park Slope...] Cheap Massage

I'm always searching for a killer massage to take care of the recurring golf ball knot in my back, a product of too many youthful wheeled-transport crashes. Thankfully, here in the ‘hood I have the Renew and Relax Spa at 142 5th Ave. While the Slope has a variety of massage options in the "asian massage" category, this place is my personal ER. They offer only two services: massage and acupuncture, so if you want a mani/pedi search elsewhere. The rooms are clean and sparse (think a bed at a hostel) and the staff are all Chinese speaking, so it helps to point to where the bad juju emanates. For $45 an hour you can banish all those kinks you get from simply living the rat race that is New York Fuckin' City. I always start with an hour then get suckered (willingly, I might add) into an extra 30 minutes that has me relaxed to the point of where I start demonstrating my sleep apnea.  It helps to make an appointment; they don't take Amex, and if you hear snoring just remember that just means I've been lucky enough to have a non-sexual orgasm.