Park Slope – Craigslist Blotter

 

Free Dog Walker – 10/11

Two posts this week. Impossibly cute hipster nanny loves dogs so much she wants to walk them for free. Be still my beating heart. I’d like to Mary Poppin and say hi to her at her favorite coffee shop.

SEX – 10/10

If you’ve ever wondered what your roommate is doing with the door closed all the god damn time she might be masturbating in front of a web camera.  Now with dollar signs in her eyes she’s ready to move up to boy-girl productions. Be safe kids.

MISSED CONNECTION – 10/10

Did you lose your Porsche keys? Tired of taking coke out of a bag with your little finger? I feel you. Shit, just ain’t sanitary bro. This nice lady is a David Lynch fan and she found some Porsche keys in the street. She promises she’s not going to stab you.

FREE SHIT - Friendship Lights – 10/9

I laughed when I saw this guy’s picture. Then, I thought this mother fucker was crazy. THEN I felt bad because it looked like his heart was in the right place and I’m a terrible cynical monster. Finally, he said something about waiting to give these out in front of the hospital until a news crew came to tape it and he lost me forever. Emotional roller coaster though. Check it out.

Poker Slope – 10/08

You know if you combine Park and Poker you get parkour? Sometimes I trip just walking down the stairs. Anyway. Shady $1-2 No Limit games happening in the Slope. Probably meeting behind the Key Food on 7^th. Bring your own Night Train.

RENTAL – 10/11

Every week we’ll cover the most expensive 1 BR apartment for rent in Park Slope. This week we’ve got a spacious one bedroom on a leafy street. It’s got good park and subway access. It’s plain looking. No fancy accessories or perks. Possibly a 5 floor walkup. And it costs…$3500. Hope you win some money at the poker game.