Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

FREE TATTOO ARTIST

This is a pretty neat post if you're having a children's birthday party soon. Although it could be a prank and this person is just going to come over and draw dicks on all the kid's faces. That would still be pretty worth it though right? Great story for when they get older.

FREE: Adult Toys

On Monday there was a post for Free Toys and I clicked it praying they'd be sex toys. Sadly, they were children's toys. Silly rabbit, sex toys aren't for kids. There weren't even pictures so I x-ed out and moved on. Today our dreams came true though. A wall of vibrators. The poster will even deliver them. That's just how bad they want them gone. "Just get them out of here! And by here I mean my body. They're inside me right now. "  

MISSED CONNECTION: She Hate Me

Kind of miscategorized, so I hope nobody flags it before this runs. You wouldn't think people would care but there are some real sticklers for the rules patrolling Craigslist. We had an AMAZING Park Slope glory hole post we were going to feature one week. Even had a picture. Then some monster flagged it. Anyway, this guy is deleting mystery lady's phone number because she hates him.  It's not a bad idea. You get drunk and you text. It happens. We all do it. She thinks you're just horny. "You just want to get your rocks off." You're just another creep guy coming on to her with your beer muscles. Maybe you just care about her though. You want to make her breakfast and pretend you like her parents. Kisses goodbye and arguing over the Netflix suggestion even though you both know you're going to cave and watch Scandal.  These words are my own. From my heart flow. I love, I love you, I love you. I think that's what he meant to say. Me too, bro.

MISSED CONNECTION: Third time he's gay

We aren't normally very supportive of the Missed Connection posters around here. We just don't want to give them false hope. I'm going to throw this guy a bone though. If somebody walks past you and makes eye contact three times they're interested. That's an invitation to come say hi. If it's just twice they went somewhere and now they're coming home. Three times though. That's going out of their way. Maybe they just forget their laundry detergent but it's not embarrassing for you to run out there and see what their story is. There isn't a ton of information in this post but hey, hopefully this works out.

FOR SALE: Marijuana

I was perusing the antiques section looking for something that wasn't milk glass and I stumbled upon this. It's drugs dude. Well, weed, but still. If you're looking for some high quality kind bud hit these guys up.