Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

FREE: Kid Stuff   

A daycare center is closing here in Brooklyn. If it's anything like the insane asylum that closed in my town back home they'll just release the children into the neighborhood.  Then they become this new frightening breed of homeless. Anyway, they're selling off all their play stuff. If you have little kids you should check it out.

PRACTICE: Modern Hebrew

This poster needs to practice their Hebrew. They are concerned "if you don't use it, you lose it." Is that a reference to 40 Year Old Virgin? If so, I really like this person because that's one of my favorite lines in the movie. Kat Denning is sitting right there too and she makes my heart flutter.

PETS: Birds

Do you work in a coal mine? Perhaps just crave constant noise?  This person is selling canaries. A couple of fun facts about them. They've been kept as pets since the 17^th century. And only the male canaries can sing. Male canaries sound kind of thirsty if you ask me.

MISSED CONNECTION: F train Flashdancer

Oh babyyyy you! You got what I need! Man makes eye contact with a woman on the F Train. So she starts dancing, pulls down her pants and shakes her booty at him. Bold move, ma'am. Unfortunately this smells like bullshit. He ends the post by asking any woman who wants to flash that butt to get back to him.

MISSED CONNECTION:  Whoa

This woman had some jerk hipster run some tragically terrible game on her and she lived to tell about it. This is tremendous satire.  I mean seriously. Click this and read it. It's funnier than anything I've written today and probably my favorite Craigslist post in the history of the Blotter. Well, except the guy selling the human size hamster wheel. That was amazing too.

MISSED CONNECTION: Gowanus Shuffleboard!

We always worry about dating people out of our league but what about people in our league? I mean like your shuffleboard league. An ex-member of my Union Hall bocce team dated a girl on another team. They went out twice and that was it. Damage was done though. She folded her team right before the playoffs started. It's like dating somebody at work. You better make it…work. Fuck. Whatever.

Have a good weekend everybody! Thanks for reading!