Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

FREE: Pregnancy Test

I’m pretty sure, not positive (pregnancy test humor ya’ll,) that pregnancy tests come in at least 2 counts. This is offering one pregnancy test. Does that mean she’s pregnant or not pregnant? Wouldn’t you take the second test just to be sure? She also refers to last night as unforgettable. I think we’d all like to hear more about that. Anyway, if you don’t feel like spending the 7 bucks to get a test drop this person an e-mail. 

VOLUNTEER: 10^th Annual Halloween Festival

It’s all pretty much right there in the title. This Park Slope charity is looking for volunteers to work their Halloween party. They are a little sassy demanding that if you come to be professional. LOL remember when professional meant paid? Said the internet blogger. Costumes are strongly encouraged. FIPS would further encourage you to take that costume to the next level. Some kind of serial killer get up. Real blood splattered on your clothes and a real chainshaw that you let rip every time a kid comes to your station for candy. Nah, not the pumpkin shaped Reece’s kid. Take a mini Milky Way.

WANTED: Cat sitter

Park Slope couple looks for a two week cat sitter in November. You’ll be subletting so you’ll also be paying. Lucky you. A single female is preferred. Same here, up top! They have a lot of pics which is nice but only one that has a cat sneaking around. It looks like a nice plump cat too. Fat cats are the best cats. Figure there has to be more cats in the apartment if they’re going to say “Must love cats.” Multiple times in the listing. 

For Sale: Run DMC Action Figures

I don’t know much about Run DMC.  One of my running backs in fantasy football is Darren McFadden, also known as Run DMC. So I think that’s pretty cool. These little guys are a hundred bucks for the set.

MISSED CONNECTIONS: You’ve been…THUNDERSTRUCK!!!

Pretty typical boy meets boy story. They eye fuck each other real good and then one of them runs home and posts on Craigslist. Fun twist though. They met at a football game. In Brooklyn! We have a professional football team now in the borough of Kings. They play in Coney Island and they’re named the Bolts. There aren’t any recognizable names on the roster but hell. It’s something new to do.

MISSED CONNECTION: Don’t drop the NOPE

There is a debate in the Craigslist community over what a missed connection is supposed to be. It can be either a potential connection that just missed. And now you’re trying to see if there would have been something there. Or it’s an old relationship, connection, which you miss. Either way we can all agree it’s not taking out binoculars and watching the neighbor lady take a shower. “I enjoy watching you taking your morning showers and lathering with soap every inch of your body. Let me know if you need someone to clean your back, I would be very happy to do it.” That’s creepy. Be safe out there, showerers.