Park Slope Craigslist Blotter

FOR SALE - $100 Speakers

Yo, DJ pump this party. Why waste your time? You know you're going to buy these speakers, bro. I have no idea if $100 is a good deal for this. Maybe somebody could help us out in the comments. It looks big though. And used. And if something is used it's got to work right? Can't use up something that's been broken for awhile. Makes sense.

FOR SALE - $1000 98' Subaru Impreza

The laziness of Andrea to take one picture of her car and not even shovel the snow off of it really speaks to me. We're from the same tribe. I can tell. It's kind of like when people take bathroom selfies with an unflushed toilet visible. Big ole' doody hanging out like a giant toy submarine. Only you're also asking for $1000.  Subarus are great cars though. So if you're in the market for a cheap car I'd at least take her up on the offer to talk to the mechanic.

FREE GERBIL

I thought people might eat these and I was basing my whole summary around that but I guess I'm wrong and they eat guinea pigs. I have no idea what the difference is between guinea pigs, hamsters and gerbils. I guess don't accidently sit on any of them. Two of them would be squished and one of them would scoot up your butthole.

MISSED CONNECTION – Gay Porn

Full confession; I watch a lot of porn, especially on my phone. At this point it's more a little porn-watching box I carry around with me than a communication device. I attached one of those car GPS phone holder things in my shower.  I always close it out though. I've never pulled my phone out in public to skip a music track and two people fucking came up. These two are the horniest of savages and I hope they find each other.

MISSED CONNECTION – Hit and Love

The first of two Good Samaritan stories. This lady got rocked by a car. Probably knocked clean out of her shoes. Two gentleman were there to help her. They got her up, cleaned her up and helped file a police report. If you guys are out there she just wants to say thank you. We all do.

MISSED CONNECTION – The Great Train Robbery

An incredible story. This woman was riding the F train when a lunatic stole her phone and ran away. A man tried TACKLING the thief to stop him. Don't buy him a beer. Buy him all the beers. It's not over though. Multiple people on the train, with the MTA and in uniform consoled her. They put the NYC walls down that we all hide behind and they comforted her like a human being in the middle of a terrifying night.  It's beautiful to see something good come out of something terrible.