Opossums are the New Raccoons

Ok, so technically I have not yet heard of any opossum sightings in Park Slope yet, BUT IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME, PPL.

The genius powers that be in Brooklyn decided that the best way to deal with our ever alarming rat problem in the borough was to release a crapload of opossums, who would then (logically?) tear the rats apart limb from limb with those big sharp teeth of theirs. Ok, so lemme get this straight: the sweet, non-offensive geese get their own, custom-outfitted WWII gas chamber, and the rats get to fight it out for themselves and go three rounds with the city's crack opossum squad?

Well, gues what btchz? When a rat sees an opossum coming, this is generally what they look like:

The rat's were all singin' Jay-Z songs and takin a ride on the Cyclone as the lazy assed opossums basically caught not a single one of those bitches. Oh also, they started breeding, and now we have A MOTHERFUCKING OPOSSUM PROBLEM IN BROOKLYN TOO.

I have no goddamned clue who wins in an opossum v. raccoon battle royale, but I sincerely suggest someone research that shit pronto.

Oh, and keep your doors locked, ppl: otherwise a rat, raccoon, opossum OR tornado may very well kill you.

(via Daily Intel)