NATIONAL BED BUG SUMMIT SUMMARY / YOUR FUTURE SUICIDE NOTE

OMG, I can’t believe I missed the 2nd Annual National Bed Bug Summit!

But I bet those BB experts have that shit crawling all over them, so actually no thanks. Bed bugs are for realizes proof that 2012 THE END OF THE WORLD is right around the motherfucking corner. Luckily Brick Underground went to the summit, probs got bed bugs and then did a run down of all the junk that went on there.

This stuff is important you guys. Like if you don’t read on, you WILL get bed bugs. Or at least crabs.

1. Dealing with Bed bugs are costing your building owner a crap load of money. Like 300% more than usual.

2. “At present the goal of bed bug elimination should be replaced by the more realistic one of achieving bed bug control.” Translation: make friends with your bed bugs because even the experts think there’s no turning back.

3. Just because one apartment has bed bugs, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ve infected the whole building. So like, if your neighbor has them, you might not have to make a suicide pact with your fam fam. Oh, unless you live in a bedbug “reservoir,” in which case your being EATEN ALIVE.

4. It’s hella important to inspect adjacent apartments to make sure you’re not living in a bed bug reservoir.

"It’s important to understand the difference between “reservoirs”, where bed bugs breed and thrive, and “transitional sites,” where they end up as occasional invaders but do not thrive. Oy.

5. The city wants us to get rid of the “stigma” surrounding bed bugs. Like, “if you have bed bugs we can no longer hang and bang” Or like, “having bed bugs is worse than leprosy.” Cause we can’t, and it is.

6. You should probs buy a bed bug sniffing dog as your next pet.

7. Treatment: dry clothes on high heat, vacuum, dry steam, thermal remediate shit, and encase your mattress and box spring. Bed bugs resist “chemical control,” so... at least you can make stuff hot and whatevs.

8. Most products that claim they kill bed bugs lie, so don’t even bother. The most effective way to kill these fuckers is fumigation and thermal remediation (heat treatments), but the city doesn’t have $$$ to do that.