#BlogVacay

Hey, so you know how people take real vacations and sit on beaches-n-go snorkeling and shit? Right, well I'm not doing any of that cause I'm a loser, however, I AM taking a blog vacay starting next week. And you're all invited!

WHO: me
WHERE: here
WHY: Cause blogging totally fucking sucks
WHEN: August 1 through 14th

Here's how this shit is gonna work: I'm not blogging for 2 weeks cause I wanna see what life's like when you get to come home from work and actually have nothing to do. But DON'T PANIC, PPL!

I know the thought of a FIPSless day is far too much for anyone to have to bear, so I've enlisted Meredith, Amanda and Allison to run the fucking show while I'm off making sweet love to my Tivo and re-organizing my closet. So yeah, you'll be well taken care of...and probably won't even miss me. Shit, you might even like it better. And then I'll come back and everyone will be all "uhm...it's not you, it's US" and there will be a big messy coup, Gorilla Coffee style, and you bitches will burn a stroller in front of my apt building or some shit.

IT. COULD. HAPPEN.

Anyway, I'm Audi.

Hawt Dogs

photo: Gabi Porter for MetromixDogs, dogs, dogs, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah...I know. But suck it the fuck up.

After a hot assed, romp filled Saturday a few weekends ago down at Dog Beach in Prospect Park, Oliver and a bunch of other FIPS-y pups were recently featured in Metromix's new pet-friendly section, Petromix.

Check out all the action HERE and enjoy a few of our faves below:

Allison's long standing wish to pit Oliver up against Ziggy to see who's cuter finally came true...and true confessions: Ziggy *does* look pretty hawt:

image: Gabi Porter for Metromix@allgrownsup's chihuahua Magdalena Gran Reina de Caninas Orozco pretty much stole the whole friggin show.

Gabi Porter for MetromixDo your remember Lexie? The dog who got mugged? He's recovering nicely, and has since joined a motorcycle gang:

Gabi Porter for MetromixThere's way more where that came from in Petromix's rad NYC guide for Pet owners.

Anarchy on the Q Train Platform

You guys. U GUYZZZZ. Hide your kids and lock up your valuables AGAIN. There's an esoteric crime wave a-washin' over Park Slope. People are losing ebook readers right from their bare hands!

The facts, via eBook Newser (yes, I read this on my own time): "Some jerk snatched an e-book reader from a guy who was waiting on the platform at the Seventh Avenue Q-train station on July 24. The book worm victim told cops that he was reading his Amazon Kindle at around 4 am when another dude walked up to him and said, 'You don't want to see this.' The perp then grabbed the trendy gadget and hopped on a Manhattan-bound train."

Dude really needed to know how The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo ended. But, I guess the lesson learned here is: if you own an iPad, Kindle or Nook, it's obviously best not to leave your home until further notice.

FOXY BROWN IS FROM PARK SLOPE??

Yes, apparantly she is according to SOHH.com:

"I was on my way to rehearsal with my band and I was leaving my mom's house in Park Slope, [Brooklyn], where I always go; that's the home that I was born in."

Holy shit! Obvs I'm on top of the John Hodgman, Steve Buscemi, John Turturro scene, but I had no idea that Foxy used to kick it at Connecticut Muffin old skool style!?

Also, FYI, she'd like you all to know that she did NOT, as previously reported, moon her neighbor while screaming at her to kiss her ass and calling her a dirty bitch (and other obscenities). LIKE NOT AT ALL.

It's unclear to me from this story if this neighbor was actually in Park Slope (next to her mom's house) or not, but every girl deserves a dream, so I'm just gonna go with it.

Finally, I think we can all agree that with her love of luxurious fur coats, Foxy is a pretty killer candidate for bringing some fabulous back to Park Slope. I mean, right? Are you hearing this Faux FIPS???

WHASSUP: July 29-Aug 4

Nothing too exciting going on in the Slope, so here's what's happening within shooting distance.  Leave your other haps in the comments, per usu.

*Thursday, July 29: Media Circus.  Gothamist's Jake Dobkin and and Grothspur's Mark Potts go over the year in and future of hyperlocal, whatever the fuck that is.  (Actually, we should know exactly what that is.)  Free and in DUMBO, so you don't have to stray from the F, since separation anxiety's a bitch.

*Thursday, July 29: Mad scientist filmmaker.  Short film involving a filmmaking monkey, and a live experiment happenin' at Rooftop Films' screening of Capucine: Filmmaking Monkeys and Other Renegades.  If you can deal with going to Fort Greene.  Info here.

*Saturday, July 31: Sonic Youth.  Free.  Bandshell.  Not Norah Jones.  Sonic Fucking Youth.  Details.  I think that about sums it up.

That's all I got for you.  Hello, Thursday.