Mimosas Are For Pussies (Oh, and Fort Reno Provisions Will Soon Be Offering Brunch)

Let's be honest. Let's be straight. Let's consider calling me a boozehound. Brunch in NYC is pretty much two things:

1. A weekend event where folks stumble out of bed in the early afternoon to gather together after a night of drinking. This is done so that they may consume a late breakfast in an attempt to fend off the previous eve's hangover.

2. A weekend event where folks stumble out of bed in the early afternoon to gather together after a night of drinking. This is done so that they may consume a late breakfast alongside copious brunch beverages in an attempt to delay the effects of the previous eve's hangover.

This coming weekend, you could drag your sorry ass AGAIN to the same stale Park Slope brunch spot you've been going to every weekend for a while now, but I suggest you try something new. Be adventurous, damnit! If you try said new thing, people will think you’re "hip" because you followed the suggestion of a lush who writes for a neighborhood blog with a slightly offensive name.

My suggestion for this weekend: Fort Reno Provisions. You may remember them as the BBQ joint that we reviewed a few months back (you know, the one that y'all had an "I know real BBQ" pissing match about in the comments section). Well now they've added brunch to the mix, so feel free to break out those phalluses once again.

For those looking to wuss out & concentrate on stemming their hangover with food, the brunch menu will feature sides like grits & cornbread alongside brunch variations of their BBQ fare, like a whole-hog pulled pork sandwich on a brioche bun with coleslaw & spicy pickles on the side. They'll also have a biscuits & gravy & pork sausage patty dish and an egg & cheddar with house-smoked bacon on a biscuit dish. Biscuits abound!

For those going the hair-of-the-dog route, they've got the usual bloody marys & mimosas, but they've also got three special brunch cocktails. Last night, I decided to be a pushy dick & stopped by to ask if I could try one of the yet-to-be-released brunch cocktails. Dan, the bartender at the time, was kind enough to whip up one of their sweet-potato-infused bourbon bloody marys [pictured above] for me.

Mimosas are for pussies. As far as brunch drinks go, the bloody mary is the only respectable way to go. When it comes to bloody marys, I like mine made with enough horseradish to choke an elephant. The one I sampled was heavy on the horseradish but was also complemented by a sweet taste from the sweet potatoes & bourbon. It was essentially an enhanced spicy bloody mary...& if you have enough of them, you might even feel inclined to down the giant house-pickled jalapeno that's floating in it. If bloody marys aren't your style, they'll also have an alcoholic iced coffee drink & one with chamomile-infused vodka that'll help you fully embrace your food coma. Sorry...no special meat-infused brunch cocktails at the moment.

So yeah...they’ll be open for brunch on the weekends from 12pm-3pm from now on. Listen to what my bloody mary-infused brain is telling you to do. Thanks.

Read way more from Shawn at eatdrinksnack.com.