Meet the REAL Dog Owners of Park Slope

So, I've had a calamitous two weeks. Let it just be said that it's ironic (yes, i said it cupcake man!) that i would be quoted in New York magazine demanding a retraction on that Park Slope as city's greatest hood designation at this moment in time. And, by the way, I want to redouble my call to douchey Manhattanites to stay put.

But neither rain nor sleet nor whatever the next thing is will keep a TRUE BLUE doggie mama from making my appointed rounds to the meadow when my little baby boy needs his daily run.

Sure, all you johnny come lately, weekend poseurs are out in force when it's sunny. But a drop of rain or a hangover and where are you?

Erica?

Yeah, you hear me.

I'm tawkin' to YOU, because I didn't see your privileged ass in that park yesterday morning tending to the needs of your little snooky ookum Ollie. Didn't get to see your clear-eyed, lasik-ed gaze picking me off from clear across the meadow. You were too busy documenting that fancy-schmancy apartment of yours. Kudos, by the way. I swear I'll vote on the next round. I particularly dig the art painting. Not sure about the striped hallway walls, though.

So, it was just Ziggy and a small crew of labs. And some soggy dog owners. Truth to tell, we came to the conclusion that it was unadulterated self interest and a desire to protect our furniture that had driven us there. 

Exhibit A: $200 winter boot. For once in my life, I shell out and look what happens. Ziggy was almost made into a muff after this one.

[ed. note: Yes, its true: I have not been to the off-leash hours recently at the Park. However, I have not been going because Oliver has decided that instead of running, frolicking, socializing, and other dog things, he would instead spend his ENTIRE FUCKING TIME in Prospect Park eating the grass. Yep, that's it. That's ALL HE DOES everytime I bring him to the fucking park (ask @DanGords!). So sue me if I've decided that sleeping in and editing blog posts is more productive than watching Ollie pretend he's a fucking cow. I may actually need to get the animal communicator in on this one, but I'll keep you posted. Maybe I'll try again this week, cause fine: this shit *does* make me feel guilty. And sidenote: does ANYONE out there know why my dog won't stop eating the grass???].