Marty Markowitz Has Sent Out His Christmas Card

via The Brooklyn Paper

It's that time of year when the man child who runs this borough sends out his whimsical Christmas card. After trashing bike lanes in last year's card, Marty has turned to reinforcing the more positive accomplishments of Brooklyn in 2011, including:

• A front and center celebration of gay marriage.
• Occupy Wall Street (which includes a reindeer holding an Occupy the North Pole sign).
• Hurricane Irene quickly leaving the scene of the crime. 
• He and his wife being tossed about in the new Coney ride, the slingshot.
• A myriad of Coney Island-themed goodness like the hot dog eating contest and the Polar Bears.
• Prince William and Kate Middleton getting married on the Coney Island boardwalk? (What the eff does that have to do with Brooklyn???????)

Oh Marty you kooky Borough Prez you. Sometimes I think you're just a little too much fun. Let's look at his Christmas greeting to all Brooklynites. It's supposed to be sung to the tune of "It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas." Try and sing it and see if it works for you:

It’s a wonderful time to live in Brooklyn

The holidays are here

We got the Brooklyn Nets and Aretha gave us “Respect”

We braved the quake and Irene’s wake this year.

It’s a wonderful time to live in Brooklyn

Just take a stroll around

Isn’t it great for me and you that the hip ZIP’s 112

Where lots of love and Mazel Tovs abound?

(chorus)

Tom Selleck, Buscemi are shooting for the Emmys

On Brooklyn’s magnificent streets

And gays can get wed as diversity spreads

From the Promenade out to the beach

And the Scream Zone and the Sling Shot are the newest Coney treats

It’s a wonderful time to live in Brooklyn

We’re world class all the way.

GQ voted us the best, so fuhgeddabout the rest

Happy holiday!

Yeah, I lose it right around the third line myself.

But seriously, Marty I know you get put through the mill, mainly because you make it so easy, so this year let me send you a holiday card. You can sing this to the tune of "Good King Wencelas" a traditionally boring Christmas carol with a fairly nice tune.  

Marty went'a taking trips

On the city's dime

When he took his wife with him

He had to pay the fine. 

Worry not fair Brooklynites

Marty's going far

Not by foot or bike or train 

But by paid for cars (you got to hold out cars).   

Now don't get me wrong good folk

Marty's left his mark

Hating those who ride their bikes 

Down near Prospect Park 

When those dicks sued the city 

 He signed a legal paper

 Swearing Janette Sadik-Khan's

Words were thin as vapor.  

But his biggest gift to us

A stadium to enter

With a tower very tall

We'll call the Barclay Center

Blocking sun and cars abound

Traffic will be cruel

But you love those vehicles spewing all their fuel.

Seriously, Marty. I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah. You make blogging fun.   

[via The Brooklyn Paper]