Jake Gyllenhaal Puts Subway Riders To Sleep

Photos via Buzzfeed / Gothamist

The other day I was minding my own business making delicious pies and brining my turkey at home, when I noticed, on the internet, that people are paying attention to the fact that (1) Jake Gyllenhaal rides the subway sometimes, (2) Jakey's been photographed twice on the subway next to a person who was asleep, and that (3) people sometimes sleep on the subway, despite the admonitions of Petula Clark.

First I saw the above photos on BuzzFeed, and then on Gothamist, and I think to myself, this is the BEST thing about living in New York, and the WORST thing about blogs. The fact that celebrities ride the subway on the way home from their sister's house and no one gives a shit = Awesome.  The fact that the internet has to notice the awesome stuff and make a big fucking deal about it = Fucked up. 

Lookit. I'm a recently (and happily) gay-married man, and if I had to pick a fake internet celebrity boyfriend to obsess over, it'd prolly be James Franco, and not Jakey. But, honestly?  If I'm gonna fall asleep next to Jake Gyllenhaal, I sure as shit hope that it's not on the goddamned Q Train.