In Search Of The Next Aflac Fuck...Errm...I Mean Duck

I'm sure most of you are aware that Gilbert Gottfried, voice of the ever popular and obnoxious Aflac Duck, got canned a few weeks ago as a result of cracking Japan jokes on Twitter.

As I was scanning the interwebs this morning instead of working, I came across this CNN clip of retarded hopefuls auditioning to become the next Aflac Duck. I really hope to god these aren't the best they could find. Maybe they should come audition some people from Park Slope, or atleast take it to the streets of NYC?

I bet a toothless, drunk and raspy voiced homeless man would make a great replacement...sort of like the next Golden Voice Kraft whatever the fuck his name was dude.

Anyways..here's my critique of  these Gilbert Gottfried wannabe assholes:

Dude #1 - Stop trying to be Rodney Dangerfield...also you sound like a fucking rooster.

Dude #2 - This isn't an audition for a  Mexican Senorita (Miss for those of you that can't read Spanish) Piggy.

Dude #3 - You sound like an annoying Jewish mother.

Chick #4 - Stick to delivering my mail.

Guy #5, #6, & #8 - You've got the wrong duck, dipshits.

Chick #7 - You sound like a distraught Wanda Sykes.

Guy #9 - You're a douche.

#10 & #11 - Let's get serious here...you aren't even worth my time.

I think this proves that the Aflac duck should just die with Gottfried. They should do one last ad where Gottfried catches, plucks, cooks and devours the fucking duck.

Good riddance.