IN-FIPS-TIGATION: THE GOOGLES ARE COMING, THE GOOGLES ARE COMING

After I blogged about 17 PPW last week—and got absolutely NO dirt from you losers—I decided to investigate myself. 

It's true I tend to take vicarious (albeit slightly masochistic) pleasure in the beautiful, fixed-up, FINISHED homes of my neighbors in this great city. I peer in to brownstone windows when I walk my dog in the evening (I especially liked your beautifully decorated Christmas tree on Carroll between Polhemus and Fiske, whoever you are; all those handmade ornaments, no garish glitter or lights in sight); I lap up Apartment Therapy makeovers like ____ (insert your lick-worthy favorite here); I eagerly take the tour when picking up the rug rats at a new apartment.
 
Surrounded by architects as I’ve been most of my life—that peculiar breed marked by expensive taste, perfectionism and small bank accounts—I am the original cobbler’s daughter/employee/wife. I’m an experienced urban camper. I am patient. I don’t hock. Maybe I mock. Yeah...definitely that.

And so, I know all about doing dishes in the bathtub and living behind plastic walls and taking showers at my friend’s for a year while waiting for the contractor (read: my husband) to install the custom-made tub.
I’m on year 13 of MY Park Slope renovation. I waited almost six years for the installation of actual light fixtures and a slab of granite that had been leaning up against the wall behind the couch the whole time. I’m still waiting for my backsplash and cabinet doors and there’s only one strip of tile left to go in the bathroom. It’s been that way for 12 years.
 
My handy dude actually built us a place upstate in the meantime that’s more finished than this one. Okay, it’s not really. We still have a plywood front, door but our neighbors finally stopped calling us Tyvek house last summer.
 
So there’s a little history behind my curiosity (envy mixed with a dash of gloat) over the unending renovation of the 8.5 million buck fixer-upper on Carroll and PPW. What in the name of God was going on at 17 PPW after their year-long plus reno?! Are we to believe that JC and PB were living in a shambles? Has somebody finally gotten rid of the black walls in the living room?
 
So, yes....I googled. And, verily, I found them: the new owners. Who shall forthwith be referred to as Mr. and Mrs. Google, because, apparently, they FUCKING OWN IT. Or a piece of it, anyway. Google, that is.
 
So, I facebooked a message over to Mrs. Google, seriously doubting that she would EVER reply but offering her the incentive of serious good will and brownie points with the neighbors if she spilled about their extreme makeover. And lo and behold, awesome Mrs. Google emailed back to fill me (and you) in.
 
She’s a BR-ALLER, I tell you. You better be tolerant of her big-ass stroller. Oh crap, I forgot to ask her where she came down on the tiresome babies in bars debate.

Anyway, she graciously gave me the scoop and has promised to send pictures of the finished house. Our back and forth:
 
Allison; February 4 at 9:52am
 
Hi Mrs. Google,
 
Sorry to bug you but rumor has it you are the mystery owner of 17 PPW and the residents of Park Slope (well, me anyway) are anxious to live vicariously through your adventures in home renovation on PPW.
 
Is there ANY way you might give us the scoop on what's actually going on inside?

I just blogged about it the other day and thought I might actually try to officially investigate as well as satisfy my own architectural curiosity.
 
You'll earn major brownie points with your neighbors. Thanks in advance!!
 
Allison
f***edinparkslope.com
 
Mrs. Google; February 5 at 5:20pm
 
Hi Allison:
 
We look forward to moving to the slope in late spring. Though we like to keep a low profile, I'm happy to share some news on 17PPW. Our renovation has taken longer than some projects simply because we're aiming to retain original architectural details while updating systems. This has involved completely replacing the kitchen floor which previously had an 80s vibe, replacing 3 of the 4 bathrooms, combining 4 rooms into 2 larger rooms on the top floor, replacing the under-powered HVAC (the top 2 floors were not getting adequate cooling), installing built-in lighting, cleaning the facade, replacing the roof and gutters and rehabbing windows with deteriorating frames. Plus an exorcism. The inside is still in a rough state, but things should begin to pull together in a few months.
 
Mrs. G

Allison; February 6 at 9:58am
 
Welcome! Thanks for taking care of that beautiful building and for being a good sport and getting back to me. Now that I have you.... I can't resist a few more questions...
 
why park slope? what do you know about the neighborhood?
are you going to join the food coop?
that fetching little baby person in your photo? your only? how old?
did you get rid of the black walls in the living room? never understood that.
is it really creepy?
will you guys have any high-tech doodads in the house? will it talk to you and thank you for closing the door, etc? are those bathrooms going to have the wet rooms, saunas, other enviable fixtures? any cool tunnels, secret passageways, etc? my husband is an architect and did a "smart house" for a family with a computerized voice that sounded like the nanny hectoring the residents (not his idea) and with the kids suite hidden behind a bookcase door (very cool-his idea).
will you send us pix of the house when it's done?
 
thanks again!!!
allison

Mrs. Google February 6 at 10:28am
 
Very funny! We've been a bit taken aback by the attention this house garners. Google geekiness notwithstanding, the high tech gadgetry will be minimal, or at least as unobtrusive as possible. The bathrooms are small by today's standards, and we chose not to enlarge them so as to retain original structure, including a dumbwaiter. Enviable fixtures? There will be no lap pool, no hedge maze, and no oompa loompas - but a good deal of square footage and views of the park. Would be glad to send some photos along once we've settled in.

So, she didn’t answer everything, but a lot. I haven’t yet broached whether they’d be willing to host future FIPS meat-ups. Maybe next time.