If You Own A Car With A Car Alarm, I Think You Should Be Fined And/Or Jailed

Like even if the thing isn't going off. I mean it.

That's how much I fucking hate car alarms.

WHATINTHEMOTHERFUCKINGFUCK is the purpose of a car alarm in 2011. WHAAAAAAAT?

I'll tell you what the purpose is, cause there is one and only one: to annoy the living shit out of everyone, everywhere.

Finito.

And apparently Stoop Mama feels the same way, cause she's penned a hilarious rant to the idiot who's car was parked on 13th Street the other day and had his or her alarm going off for four hours straight.

"Here’s the thing: it’s not a deterrent. I couldn’t. Care. Less if someone steals your car. Seriously. Nobody is calling the police. Nobody is jumping up from behind their MacBooks shouting “Oh my WORD! It sounds like crime is afoot! Come on everybody! Let’s form a community watch and stop the car thief!”.  That’s not happening...95% of the time your badass Viper alarm goes off when the fucking wind blows, or when a Fresh Direct truck rumbles by on their way to deliver someone’s case of Pampers and bundle of kale. It’s almost never an actual thief. Even if it is someone with malicious intentions, odds are nobody will help save your car. We’re too busy rummaging through junk drawers for a sharpie so we can scrawl an expletive-filled note for your windshield."

Preach, sista. Preach on.