How to Kill 2012 in Park Slope

NY, your ball is showing (via http://todaysfacilitymanager.com/)

Soon, it'll all be over. And by "all," I mean the year 2012. That means you will need to celebrate New Year's Eve. How best to do this? Well, a quality New Year's celebration really comes down to three things: 1) champagne, 2) the ability to count backwards, and 3) someone willing to kiss you. Luckily, number one helps greatly with number three (though it may slightly impair number 2). That said, you live in NYC, so you owe it to the people back home to really do it up Brooklyn style, so that you may explain why you did not go see the big ball drop. FiPS is here to help, with a BK-centric guide to NYE celebrations:

* The Rub, Bell House: The long-running Brooklyn dance party, helmed by BK DJs with even better taste in music than your hipsteriest friends, give you the option of greeting 2013 drenched in dance-floor sweat. Free champagne toast, natch. 9pm, $40. 

* Karaoke Killed the Cat, Union Hall: Union Hall's popular night of Karaoke craziness makes the New Year all about your lungs. Includes an iPad raffle, so you can start out the New Year as materialistically as the last. 8pm, $5.

* Jay-Z and Coldplay, Barclays Center: What on Earth do Jay-Z and Coldplay have in common? Oh yeah, that whole selling-millions-of-albums thing. They have that in common. It's kind of appropriate that these two huge brands-disguised-as-musicians will co-headline New Years at that spaceship that so recently colonized downtown Brooklyn. But, hey, if you want to go big in Brooklyn for the New Year, this is pretty big. 9pm, 

* Doll Parts, Rock Shop: It's a Dolly Parton cover band! So, yeah, confuse your family back in Tennessee as to why you moved to NY in the first place by going to a Dolly Parton Cover Band for NYE. Then, try to explain to them how ironic enjoyment circles back around into real enjoyment and then around again so many times that we don't really know what we think anymore. New York! 9pm, $10-12.

* Raya Brass Band, Barbes: When you're a hammer, every problem looks like a nail, or so they say. And when you're Barbes, every holiday looks like a nail that can only be hammered by the oompa-CRASH-boom of an Eastern European brass band. Hence, the Raya Brass Band will blow the joyous toots of Bulgarian, Roma, and etc. tunes as you guzzle good beer. 10pm, $15.

* New Year's Dinner, Thistle Hill Tavern: With Talde and Pork slope stealing a bit of Thistle Hill's Dale-Talde thunder, let's all take a minute to remember how crazy we all went over the gastropub when it first opened. Renew the romance over New Year's champagne, as so many couples have tried to do unsuccessfully.  

* Grand Party, Marco Polo Ristorante (Carroll Gardens): There'll be a "Grand Party" at this old-fashioned Italian spot, which means several courses of gluttony: the perfect way to cap off the holiday season of en-fattening. 8:30pm-2am. 

* Shanghai Mermaid's NYE, Red Lotus Room (Crown Heights): This big"Old Hollywood"-themed party recreates a California speakeasy, with 1930's jazz from the Baby Soda band. Dancers, burlesque, and more fill th beige open space. You will feel just so fucking classy. 9pm, $50-$75.

* Titus Andronicus, Glasslands (Billyburg): One way to feel young again as another year passes: slam dance to poppy indie punk with the Williamsburg set. You'll feel your age in the morning, but that's what Advil is for. 8pm, $30-35.

* New Wave Eve, The Way Station (Prospect Heights): The Way Station's just a cool place. They're marking the New Year with New Wave hip hop group Electric Monday, but it's the Steampunk decor, including the Tardis-bathroom, that makes the P. Heights spot fun. 10pm,