Hey, Gay Married People: This Guy Knows How to Do Your Taxes

Photo by Stefano Giovannini / The Brooklyn Paper

When gay marriage was passed in New York State last June, I was one of those people running down the street with my friends, screaming like an asshole.  I was so happy -- I almost couldn’t believe it. I finally had the right to get married; to not just enter into a loving partnership, but a legal partnership with full benefits and blessings. It was a moment I’ll never forget – and one I hope every gay person experiences in their own state one day.

But in all of the joy, I hadn't really thought about all of the new, stressful things that might come along with gay marriage. Like, for instance, doing taxes.

Apparently, filing your taxes while you're gay married is a giant pain in the ass. You have to submit both joint and special tax returns (referred to as “dummy” returns), since the federal laws and the state laws are completely out of sync. It’s über confusing and totally sucks, so many gay couples are continuing to file independently to avoid dealing with it. This, of course, totally negates the fact that we’ve been fighting for marriage equality in the first place.

No doubt seeing an opportunity worth seizing, accountant Giacomo Campinoti attended seminars specializing in same-sex tax filings. And as we learned in the Brooklyn Paper, the Park Slope resident’s apparently so good at navigating through the system, he’s being marketed as the “gay tax man."

Don’t get that phrase twisted, though. Campinoti is totally straight (cue 90% of the gay readers closing the window on this blog). He’s married, even. He’s just here to help. A true friend – unlike those other accountants who bully you in the hallways. I mean, look at that picture of him with his QuickBooks software! He’s even set his desktop background to a rainbow flag. See how much he loves us, gays? See how much he wants to charge us his rates, which “range from $50-$1,000 depending on the complexity and amount of paperwork?”

I kid, really. It’s nice that someone out there is trying to help. Especially someone who’s for marriage equality. And I admire Campinoti for going after the gays. I always said that gay marriage would bring a lot of money to the economy, so Kudos to Campinoti for finding a way to make that money for himself.