[FIPS Was There...] Salsa Slam

All photos from D Robert Wolcheck for BrooklynExposed.com

We here at FIPS spend a hell of a lot of time out and about in Brooklyn, attending outdoor concerts, comedy shows and various other events. So [FIPS Was There...] is where we're gonna' talk about all this shit.

These days in our fair city, food competitions are SO all the rage. Once Matt Timms developed a reputation with his "Takedown" events, the door swung wide open, and more & more food competitions came rushing on in. Basically, said competitions are the hip, Brooklyn equivalent of the Pillsbury Bake-Off and, in this world of food TV & a million food blogs, people go crazy for them. As one who's obsessed with food, I say the more the better.

This past Sunday I headed to the Bell House with my sis & a friend to reprise my role as one of the judges for Nachos NY's annual Salsa Slam, a competition where a dozen plucky contestants attempt to win folks' hearts & stomachs with their best salsa recipes. In the end, four competitors took home prizes -- the Judge's Favorite, the Judge's Honorable Salsa, the Greatest Stretch (the salsa least like traditional salsa) and the People's Champion.

Whereas Nachos NY's annual "Guactacular" event sells out & is generally pretty crazypants, with a million peeps trying to sample all the different guacs before they run out, the Salsa Slam is much more laid back. You're able to grab a few salsas, chill somewhere with a beer, test those salsas out & return for more without fear of not getting to try each & every entry.

On this particular Sunday, the first entry was a salsa that went by the name of "O.G. Salsa." With a name like that, I expected it to be hardcore like Ice-T or some shit. Instead, it was a peach mango salsa that was thinner than Manute Bol & for some reason had a sour taste to it. I'm not sure what the sourness was all about, but I'm pretty sure this salsa would get a fool shot down on Crenshaw.

Luckily, the second salsa, a Roasted Tomatillo & Chipotle salsa, quickly helped me forget about the first one. The two main ingredients, along with pumpkin, tomato, roasted garlic, cilantro, red onion & spices, gave it a flavorful, saucy consistency. It didn't hurt that it was made by a cute girl with a squeeze bottle & a hand-drawn ingredients list either.

In the end, it landed a spot in my top three and took home the Judges' Honorable Salsa.

Food competitions like these tend to bring out the occasional food professional, and Salsa Slam was no exception. The first one (that I noticed) was Jesse Kramer, co-founder of Brooklyn Taco. He whipped up a sweet salsa with pineapple, lots of red onions and two kinds of peppers whose names he told me but whose names I totally forgot. Regardless, it was aight.

Next, we had a salsa with a name that FIPS readers can totally appreciate: "You Are a Jerk Salsa," courtesy of The Eatinist Bitch. It used Walkerswood Jerk Seasoning, pineapple, tomatoes, red onion & scotch bonnet peppers and was basically a bunch of chunks without much liquid to it. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't as liquidy as I prefer.

The second food professional I noticed was Matt Robicelli, of Robicelli's cupcake fame. His entry, "Bieber Fever," combined red plum, pineapple, ghost chilis & tamarind paste to produce a deliciously sweet salsa that captured the "Best Stretch" award for its unconventional ingredients.

He also won my unofficial "Best Signage" award even though he used an extraneous apostrophe.

After that, there were a couple of salsas that didn't really do anything for me. The first--"North Meadow Mango Salsa"--used mango & cilantro and had a spicy kick to it. The second was "Green Dragon Salsa," a green salsa that was supposed to be "Thai-style" but actually tasted sorta like pickles.

What followed was Sudo-Este, an Arizona-inspired salsa that contained the freshest ingredients of any creation in the competition.

It had nice chunks of jalapenos, onions & tomatoes, a ton of cilantro, lime juice and some Negra Modelo added in for good measure. It was damn spicy & damn good & we, the judges, gave it the Judge's Favorite prize.

Could Arizona be outdone? Not by the next salsa--Salsada--which was made by a guy & gal from Texas. It used ingredients that were almost all homegrown. That's good & all but to be honest, it was a pretty boring & the overall tomato flavor was closer to pasta sauce than salsa.

The spiciest salsa of the bunch was the next one--"89+ Chilis"--a thick red salsa made with a ton of different chili peppers. Each scoop brought on the sweat but there wasn't much going on down in flavor country. It's really too bad because with the impressive heat level, I was really hoping for a lot more tastewise.

Our next-to-last salsa was "Sailor Salsa," a green one that got its name from its use of spinach (aka "Popeye Crack"). It was definitely one of the more interesting salsas of the day but it didn't have a whole lot in the way of crazy flavor...just spinach.

The final one came from Sofia Frank (Insightful Appetite), whose "Raisin the Roof" guac took home the People's Choice award at this past May's Guactacular.

You know that stupid phrase "save the best for last?" In this case, that stupid phrase actually made sense, as her "Sweet Heat" salsa balanced chipotle with cranberries, creating a smoky-sweet flavor that ended up winning the People's Choice. In fact, it was so good that my sister emptied out a water bottle & took some to go.

All in all, I must have eaten a few jars of salsa & as of today, there's a good chance that traces of the stuff are still coursing through my bloodstream. Hopefully it'll all clear up before the Chili Takedown on the 20th. I'm probably going to need the space.

Read way more from Shawn at eatdrinksnack.com.