ERICA SHOWS PARK SLOPE HER PATCH

Oh my godddddddd—get your mind out of the gutter. 

I'm not talking about netherregions, I'm talking about everyone's favorite online pennysaver nabe blog, Park Slope Patch!

Erica was interviewed by them and let it suffice to say that I've got a couple of things to say about it...

1. Apparently, we use "hip-hop inspired banter." This is true. The best part about all of the ridiculous "urban language"—as the racists like to call it—we use up in here (wassup DMX?!), is that in real life Erica is so white that when she talks about hip hop, it actually sounds like she's talking about bunnies.

2. The writer talks about Erica's "milky skin" (which is absolutely TRUE) and says she speaks with the eloquence of a talk show host.  My question is, WHICH talk show host?

3. WHY WASN'T I ASKED TO COMMENT FOR THIS ARTICLE?

4. Who is this "off-the-record" blogger who hates Erica?  Because I would like to take him out to drinks to get his thoughts on why he hates the blog so much, kind of wants to comment publicly on it, but then not give his name?  We call that "LAME" in Park Slope, or "cowardice" if we were actually living on the set of The King's Speech.  Anyway, drinks would be on Erica.  I have her credit card numbaaaaaaz.