Drinks for Teacher At South

Overheard in Roots Café (How I get most of my news—frinstance, did you guys know there’s some stuff going on in Egypt?): South Bar (5th Ave b/t 17th and 18th) has a teachers’ happy hour, 3-5 Fridays.

I like this idea. A lot.

If we can’t pay teachers a wage commensurate with the difficulty of their jobs and their value to society, let’s get them blitzed on the cheap after a tough week of herding Park Slope’s littlest. I want to see amber-colored rings on Johnny 12th Street’s essay about his favorite X-Man. I want to see vulgar calculus graffiti carved into the booths at the back of South (not sure exactly what that would look like, but I’m anxious to see it). I want to see 5th period social studies necking with the gym coach over a table littered with empty shot glasses and a track whistle...torn from coach’s neck in sloppy passion.

In short, let’s reward these fine folks for shaping future minds and (hopefully) continuing to assign the unedited Huck Finn. If you deal with teenagers all week, you should be able to act like one yourself Friday afternoon. Every bar should do this. And think of the self-esteem boost the kids will get when teachers are scrawling, “Yoou guyz our the best! Ur rellly the best!!” all over every assignment.

* btw, in case you’re wondering about logistics—I don’t think you need to show teacher’s I.D. It’s just a convenient time for educators (and, I guess, the unemployed) to get soused.