Cool or Not Cool: Asking Friends to Child proof Their Apts?

As we've documented, there's nothing I enjoy more than fighting in the comments with self-important BREEDERS who claim that it's RIDICULOUS and OFFENSIVE for me to assume that there is ANY self-importance amongst their group AT ALL (even as they are brilliantly illustrating this self-importance in the very comments that they are leaving).

But even a smartass BALLER like myself was pretty shocked to come across the following information on our fave blog STFU Parents: there are actually BREEDERS out there who expect people to go through all the necessary steps of "child proofing" their home, before they will come over and grace it with the presence of their bebes.

!!??

Yes, this *is* real life, people.

Behold: "X wishes everyone had a kidproof house. I'm really tired of being on [my kid's] case about "don't touch, don't touch," versus [pick] the fragile stuff up already!" Someone else responded with: "No joke! It really isn't that hard to move some breakables and some wires...sheesh people!"

This shit sorta blew my mind...again from the entitlement angle. Like: HELLO!?? I am a mother and its very hard to be a mother, so you need to do whatever the fuck you need to do to make MY life easier. Have you forgotten that it's ALLL ABOUT ME AND MY BEBES???

STFU Parents made fun of this shit way more eloquently: "I get SO SICK of being ‘Mean Mommy’ when I go to places that aren’t kid-friendly! My kid doesn’t need to learn not to touch glass vases or avoid wires at this stage in life. What I WANT is to just let my baby run loose in others’ homes and not have to freaking worry so much...If I bring my kid out of the house with me, it’s so I can relax with friends or family for once. If I have to listen out for shattering glass because someone else didn’t think ahead and put their breakables away, then it’s seriously not worth my time."

Indeed, it's probably not worth your time at ALL, Mean Mommy.

In fact, I'm here now to speak for the other side. We've all heard of child proofing and baby proofing, ad nauseum, but there is another group out there that has mostly been overlooked. In fact, I've discovered that the opposite of childproofing is.....BALLERPROOFING.

Yes, people, there are many, many things one can do to ensure that their home is a place that a child should never, ever, ever, under any circumstance ever visit, and the act of implementing these techniques is called BALLERproofing.

In an effort to educate, I will be using my home as an example. Please study the following shitty iPhone photos, and feel free to steal any of our ideas:

The above methods are best implemented if repeated. So for example, sharp corners is a great one. If you'd like to most effectively BALLERproof your home, its best to use sharp corners in as many rooms, and in as many locations within that room as possible. The more the better! Same goes for fire hazards, easily accessible dangerous objects (in our case, we used a hammer), artwork with tits and alcohol.

Anyway.

So, yeah...what do you bitches think? Parents who expect people to child proof their homes: cool or not cool?