Columbia Student Describes Park Slope as "Not Intellectually Stimulating"

Photo via Park Slope Lens

A writer for The Columbia Spectator recently penned a not-so-complimentary article about a day trip to Park Slope. The "somewhat worth it" adventure included a stroll past Café Grumpy and Brookvin, both of which are described as having "ridiculous signs." In the end, the writer concludes that, "If you’re looking for something intellectually stimulating, don’t go to Park Slope." Then she calls us a "medium-sized room full of kinda cool hipsters." 

A born and raised Park Slope resident caught wind of the article and wrote a lengthy, yet thoughtful response to these Ivy League allegegations of ridiculous signs and stupid hipsters. 

Hey Spectrum, what’s up! Before I begin my rant, I should say I’ve been enjoying the blog—keep up the good work. But moving on…

I grew up in Park Slope and lived there for almost 20 full years of my life. My family and a number of close friends live there, so I’m in the neighborhood frequently.

There are plenty of easy shots you can take at the neighborhood—it’s overpriced, excessively bougie and white, and there’ are two real estate offices on every block along 7th Avenue. But Park Slope isn’t a “hipster” neighborhood, if you’re going to use that term to describe whole neighborhoods. It’s a family neighborhood and has been for generations. Unlike the Soho of the 60s and 70s, the Williamsburg of the 90s and early aughts, or the Bushwick and Red Hook of more recent years, Park Slope has no lofts or old warehouses. It’s full of brownstones and row houses, which appeal mostly to families with children, not hip 20-somethings.

In terms of “intellectual stimulation,” I’m not sure what one might be looking for in a neighborhood. Park Slope is tiny residential enclave, not Midtown, but it’s not devoid of “intellectual stimulation.” As other commenters have pointed out, it’s walking distance to the Brooklyn Museum. It’s also walking distance to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and the main branch of the Brooklyn Public Library, as well as BAM (the oldest continuously operating theater in America). Red Hook and its art spaces aren’t far away manageable walk. Within the neighborhood proper there are tons of restaurants and a few places to hear live music. There’s local favorite Community Books, which has writers in frequently, and a decent Barnes and Nobles (which does the same).

“Celebrate Brooklyn” brings out huge crowds in the summer for movies and music (seeing Philip Glass conduct live the score he wrote for a film, while the film plays, is a decent cultural experience). And the Met and the NY Phil come to the park in the summer, so there’s also opera or classical music to be heard.

There’s also Prospect Park, which—as many a dyed-in-the-wool Brooklynite will proudly remind visitors—Frederick Law Olmstead considered his masterpiece. I’m glad this post mentioned that the neighborhood is scenic, but to go to Park Slope and not visit (or at least not mention) Prospect Park is no small sin of omission. You might also consider hopping over to Greenwood Cemetery, which is gloriously verdant and peaceful, not to mention full of famous dead people like Leonard Bernstein, Louis Comfort Tiffany, Henry Ward Beecher, and Jean-Michel Basquiat. Also Boss Tweed.

Grand Army Plaza, particularly when it’s lit up at night, is one of the more beautiful open spaces in the city, and for those folks who care about such things, the equestrian statues of Grant and Lincoln under the triumphal arch were sculpted by Thomas Eakins (in collaboration with William Rudolph O’Donovan).

One might also visit the Park Slope Food Coop and ask for a tour. It’s the largest member-run food cooperative in America, so if you’ve ever been curious how a large-scale cooperative (it has 15,000 members) operates, it’s worth checking out.

You can also see the block where Al Capone was born (Garfield Place) and the building that had its cornice sheared off when a plane fell out of the sky over Sterling Street in 1960.

Or just grab a burger at Bonnie’s Grill. It’s one of maybe three places left in the city to get a great burger without maxing out your credit card.

Look, having seen Park Slope change from a place where teachers could settle down and raise a family in a house with a backyard to a place where two teachers could maybe afford to rent a studio apartment, I know the neighborhood can be irritating. There are too many strollers and too many nannies, and they closed Snookie’s, an old-time bar and grill, which my family loved but which probably (despite the fact that it had the best burgers and best French onion soup in the city) stopped attracting new customers in 1986.

Still, it’s a beautiful neighborhood, and there is still a lot to see and to do there. The night spots on 5th Avenue aren’t the trendiest, but if you want a dive to grab a beer at with friends, Bar Reis and High Dive are both top notch.

I apologize for the long and overly detailed diatribe. I’m just tired of seeing the neighborhoods of Brooklyn (and yeah, I’m a bit sensitive about my own) or Queens reduced to a few cliche sentences or flip remarks. Whether you’re reading here or writing here, take some time to really explore a neighborhoods before you pass judgment. Forget what you read in the New York Times Styles section and do some research, talk to the locals, or wander around for a few hours on more than one occasion.

I’ve lived in New York my whole life, and I still know only a fraction of the city. You’ll be best served if you take a page out of Socrates’ book and remember that he who knows how little he knows knows the most. About New York. Unless he actually knows nothing.

But yeah, give Park Slope a break. At the least, it deserves better than being called a “medium-sized room full of kinda cool hipsters.”

-Raphael

Smack. Down.