Brooklyn's Serial Bank Robber Is Stealing Way More Than Our Asses Are Making
Chinae | Monday, July 11, 2011 at 10:00AM 
Via Current
Apparently there’s a serial bank robber making his rounds in Brooklyn, and since December has 15 attempted and successful jobs under his belt, including Park Slope Chase branches. He has acquired over 50K in stolen funds in six months (dolla dolla billz, ya’ll), AND they’ve all been recorded as “note jobs” which apparently is a thing. Someone is robbing banks... using Post-It notes.
No gun? No knife? No Ma-che-te? Nope…he just made a run over to the local Staples and got himself some mini yellow stationery to commit felonies with. Don't get me wrong -- I'm glad the guy never brandished a weapon. But he's got some balls.
In the report, they don’t reveal what was on the note but I’m seriously hoping he is doing this 4th grade style:
Can I have your money?
Circle: YES or NO
It doesn't surprise me that our neighborhood Hamburglar is mostly targeting Chase banks, considering they're on EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CORNER. (even in my dreams, there are Chase banks, FML.) Literally, if there were as many single crush-worthy men in Park Slope as there are Chase Banks, let’s just say I’d be buyin’ some permanent real estate.
Yeah, this is pretty bad though. You shouldn’t steal from banks, Post-It Note robber. Although Chase bank ATM fees are a real bitch for anyone who isn’t drinking the Chase Kool-Aid, and you can’t TOTALLY blame the guy for trying to recover some of those fucking service charges.
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