BREEDER vs BREEDER: New Moms Gone Wild

Fine, I'm in. I hate us too.

I've said it myself: people are assholes or not, whether or not they have kids. But, there is something particularly godawful about the entitlement of the new mommy. I can understand that this is probably hormonal and you will get over it, but I must ask that you go away until you do!

Yesterday morning, I was literally almost mowed down on the way to drop-off by a gogo-booted mother speedwalking with her stroller. We were waiting for a light to change so I don't know where she thought her bitchy, "excuuuuuse me" was going to get her but she didn't give it a passing thought as she jack-booted her fat ass in her retro mini dress down the street. What happened to the motherhood of arms!? Or some united shit like that...

I used a stroller myself once upon a time. I get that they're necessary sometimes.  I NEVER took over the whole damn sidewalk or was mean to people or brought my big, fat virtual sherpa into teeny, tiny stores like Blue Apron or Lisa P. I didn't wheel it into fucking CT Muffin. 

Have a care, womyn!

Which brings me to my lactating, lesbian squad leader at the food coop. She is awesomely in my face. A little TOO awesomely today when I came to ask for a co-counter per cashier bookkeeping regulatory practices and found her at the front desk with her BIG, MILKY teat flapping in the wind from the front door and her little baby's gnawing. 

I WISH I had taken a picture. But maybe the image would be too disturbing for GoGo and RobNYC. In fact, my leader, mein commandant (spelling?) was willing to reenact it for my blackberry camera but I didn't have it in me. 

I'm all for nursing. I nursed for an embarrassingly long time. I'm even for public nursing, just not of your kindergartener. So, I don't know why I was torn between applause and apoplexy at the site of the boob at the coop. 

Okay, that's all. 

Open season on new mommy hate. For the rest of the day, at least.