BREAKING: TARGET STRIKES BACK, TAKES IT RACIAL
Benjamin | Monday, March 16, 2009 at 7:36AM 
You know, I really was surprised that FIPS' Atlantic Center Target exposé never earned us a formal cease-and-desist-type letter. Great move on Target's part by the way - I mean, who gives a fuck if our shitty little blog has its fun; even with our links from Consumerist et. al, only about 30k people saw those videos - On the other hand, if Target had sent us a cease-and-desist letter and made a big deal out of it, the story would have had "legs" and we'd all have ended up on Ricki Lake, metaphorically speaking.
Well, just because there are some savvy executives in the corporate offices does not mean the company doesn't have it's share of near-literate lowlifes with internet access. Check out these comments we received from a Target employee: (cashier? sales clerk? manager? How high can you make it up Target's ladder without being able to spell?)
If you knew anything about anything you would know that the Atlantic Target store is #1 in the company (1700 stores). Also I like how you certain isle but have NO idea whats going on in the departments your showing. It seems to me that you and your boy friend are 2 bored Caucasians (not a racial comment, just a comment to the people taking these video to let them know we know) and yes we know who you are LOL bet you didn't think we did huh... Good luck trying to bring this target down we are making sooo much money in 09 its ridiculous...
Oh and one more thing, why don't you tell the people that you shop and spend money at the Atlantic terminal Target. Should we post the videos of you folks checking out having a good ol time in the target you try and degrade?
Jesus christ, where do ya begin?
a) LOVE the non-racist racial reference - "you two WHITE motherfuckers...not that there's anything wrong with that."
Reminds me of my grandma asking "whatever happened to that colored girl you dated" - she's not racist OF COURSE, it's just a handy way of describing the girl I dated who most resembles her maid.
b) LOVE the surveillance threats - good to know that you've got access to security footage of every single customer, and will threaten to use them against your political enemies like Richard Nixon.
My fave is to imagine this guy posting the videos - where would he post them - on the Target corporate website?
Yo uh, boss, member those two white bitches makin the videos? I posted footage of them paying for diet coke an shit. It didn't really fit in the existing site architecture, so I added a new menu item? So now the left-nav reads "About Target | Store Locator | Investor Relations | Political Enemies | Contact Us." Coo?
c) LOVE the mob mentality that HIS (her? there I go! sexist!) Target is making BANK in 2009, yo. Who gives a shit about quality, we're cleaning up on your white asses (not racist, just lettin you know we know)
d) Finally, the most underrated portion of the guy's comment, the one substantive complaint that he levies:
Also I like how you certain isle but have NO idea whats going on in the departments your showing.
I really hope he was on crystal meth when he wrote this and was just too amped to go back and change the spelling errors and omissions - but forget all that: I've spent a lot of time trying to analyze this sentence, but I still can't grock it with certainty.
Here's my best guess:
Somehow, he is upset that we are ignorant as to a particular aisle's context within the greater departmental structure. That is our responsibility! Perhaps his point is that if we understood the processes that facilitates the restocking of a given department, we would understand why so many shelves are bare.
What do you think?
Ok, second question: What should we do with this comment? Contact Target to see if it's an official response? Go further? I'm tempted to just leave it - I have the attention span of a gnat, and all this Target shit is beyond boring already. What else is on?
Your thoughts?
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Reader Comments (8)
Not to make it racial, but I feel like we need to round up a posse for a good ole' lynchin'. Just so they know we know, you know?
Ugggghhhh, Target. TARGET! Target.
Re: the commenter who says Target is Numba One! She must mean the Atlantic Target is the highest grossing store in the country, a miracle considering what a mess it is. They obviously can't keep up with the demand. Of course, just because it sells a lot of stuff doesn't mean it's a well-run store. In fact, I think it sucks as much as it does because it's already making money hand-over-fist so what's the motivation to things?
I would ask for an official comment from Target. If nothing else it should provide for some great entertainment on FIPS.
No one is holding you hostage. If you don't like living in Park Slope, simply move out. People do it all the time.
I went to a target in Long Island this weekend, and wandered around wide eyed because they actually had awesome stuff that I wanted to buy. I say send it to target - imagine how great it would be if we had an actual target in Park Slope and not that ridiculous version.
i say send it to target, and see whats happen, cause some more chaos in that crappy store
Thanks, Omar.
Second, nobody's making anyone shop at the corporate behemoth that is Target Stores Inc. Why don't we just box up all our cash and just ship it to China?
Or just send the "hipsters" instead.
Think Global - Shop Local
I went there this weekend, the cashier casually told me she was charging me $11 for a $69.00 McQ dress that wouldn't scan because she "didn't want to wait for a manager". I also got a bathing suit and it was missing the barcode tags, but she put them in my bag anyway. After further inspection of my receipt when I got home, I realized I wasn't charged at thing for this either.
The incompetence CAN occasionally sway in the consumer's favor I guess! Saved me almost $100!
I think I am going soft in the head, but I kind of feel sorry for this crazy mother fucker.