BK V-DAY MEATUP: JUST THE FACTS

Ok, yes: I hate Valentine's Day, YOU hate Valentine's Day and so does everyone else on the planet who isn't retarded. Cause here's the thing: whether you're with someone, or whether you're not, either way the cheezy, Lady Gaga engineered spirit of this faux holiday is gonna end up sweeping you up and spitting you out like a plate of day-old poutine.

But yeah, as long as we're being brutally honest, V-day def sucks way more when you're NOT with someone than it does when you are.

But now you have a choice! You don't have to just sit there like some Valentines Day loser! You can go to the V-day in your PJ's Meatup! And find love! Or sex! Or whatever other kinky shit you're lookin for!

Ok, so first things first:

1. Do you have a ticket? (if not, get one. Like now. Sales had been steady as she goes for this event, but somehow with all this snow bullshit, people seem to be getting squirrely. So you'll want to buy your ticket before we sell out and then you're back to V-day loser status at square one. That's not a pretty picture. Girls tix are here and guys tix are here).
2. Do you have questions? Are you confused? Do you need a little guidance? I'm guessing that the answer is a loud, clear "YES" on this one folks. But relax...that's what I'm here for.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the smooth, cool stylings of...oh wait. I'm not a DJ and this isn't my radio show. Just read on. Answers to lots of shit about Thursday are right HERE:

So, what's with this Pajamas bullshit? Do I seriously have to come to this thing wearing pajamas?

Look, homie (is it aight if I call you homie?): you can wear whatever the fuck you want. Pajamas are not a requirement. We just thought it would be fun to play dress up, and then we thought that if we *are* dressing up, pajamas would be a whole hell of a lot easier than doing, say, a Jon & Kate Plus Eight V-day Meatup. Also, our buds at Babeland were nice enough to offer up a killer prize for the best dressed PJ-wearer (2 tix to one of their slutty workshops and some other rad sex toy stuff!). So yeah, wear em if you want (I am), don't if you don't.  We do live in motherfucking America after all, so you decide if you wanna go for the gold or not. It's a free country.

How come there were more girls than guys last time? Will it be better this time?

Fuck if we know (and yes, hopefully). Our theory is that girls like to plan ahead and guys don't. So girls typically buy their tix ahead of time, have their outfits planned, and are ready to rock before the dudez are even remembering that "oh yeah...that singles thingy is tonight." Needless to say, its annoying...and we've tried to pull out all the stops in order to make sure that the crowd is a bit more even Steven (we set up separate ticket links, teamed up with Thrillist this time around, and are even offering a last minute 2-for-1 dudes special!). But if anyone else has any other ideas, please share em. Aside from offering a free blowjob with each ticket purchase, not sure what else we need to be doing to get the dudes on board in a bigger, stronger, faster way.

I read that you guys are doing speed dating this time. Do we *have* to do it?

No...in fact, if you don't already have a speed dating ticket, you can't do it, cause tix are sold out (there *may* be a few more guy slots actually. I'm not totally sure). BUT, if you are lucky enough to have a ticket, you'll be speed dating your ass off with Miss Jinners of "I heart nerds" speed dating fame. This chick is already legendary.

Are you really matching us up?

Yes, we really are. But ONLY if you get your ticket ahead of time. So yeah, we can guarantee that you will be getting at least one valentine this year, but you gotta buy a ticket before the event. Touching, right?

Workin it with the ladies makes me really hungry. You got anything to eat at the Meatup this time around?

Yes and HELLS YES. Asia Dog was such an over the top hit the last time around (I'm still dreaming of that hottie with the crushed up potato chips on top), they'll be back for more singles fun. And trust: if you missed em the last time, you don't want to make that mistake again. Their shit is DELICIOUS. And for dessert, Robicelli's Cupcakes will be in the house! You may remember Robicelli's from Cupcakegate 2K10 a few weeks ago, but as of Thursday, you'll be remembering them for putting AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS CUPCAKES AND FROSTING straight down your pie hole. They're working out their final flavors, but the "Maltz" is a definite ("a luscious combo of chocolate, bourbon and bacon) as is the Strawberry Cheesecake. These things are legendary, ppl.

What kind of other shit will there be to do at this V-day Partay?

Well, let's see...there will be:

• FREE Lillet cocktails and Smuttynose IPAs from 7-8pm for those of you that are poor and/or cheap.
• $3 Busch (beer) all night...and lots of real bush too.
• Hot DJ's: DJ Workhorse, AKA Jonny Con Carne (the killer DJ from our last event!) and some others like DJ French Toast, Jason Baker and DJ Just Iz will keep you dancing well past bedtime.
• The hilarious Sara Schaefer will be back for some sexy bedtime stories and a wet t-shirt contest-esque event that none of your asses will soon forget.
• Also we arranged for some REALLY freaky shit this time around. Like hookup games with crazy performance artists like Blizzard Bunny of Club Animals (YES, again, this is all optional, ppl. Sheesh! Relax!).
• Lots of other shit that we haven't figured out yet don't want to ruin the surprise of.

Will Twitter Biggie and/or Puff Daddy be there?

Maybe.

Can 40-year-old cougar MILFS get laid at the Meatup?

Probably. We covered this shit already, though.

Can gay people come to the Meatup?

Totally. Though true confessions: the crowd seems mostly straight. Which is why we have a killer, kick-ass BIG GAY MEATUP in the works that will, no doubt, make all these straight mofos totes jel when we rock that shit out (if you're gay, and wanna help us plan, drop us an email!).

Does that about cover it? If you've got a burning question and I missed it, hit me up in the comments.

Also, check out our sexy new website: www.bkhookup.com

Ok, that is all.