Ken Burns Buys an Apartment With a Fucking Swimming Pool in Brooklyn

Image via The Real DealFilmmaker Ken Burns just bought a three bedroom condo in Prospect Heights with access to a fucking swimming pool. I’m sorry, my brain just exploded. I guess the guy has some Brooklyn street cred since he made that popular documentary on the Brooklyn Bridge back in the 80’s but come the fuck on. Are you serious? A swimming pool in Prospect Heights.

All right, so the pool in question is part of The Eastern Athletic Club on top of Union Temple but still. I live in a brownstone with no pool.  Clearly this guy thinks he's better than all of us.

No real Brooklynite swims during the year. We all wait until the Double D pool on Nevins Street re-opens for the summer season on Memorial Day because that shit is free and our kids can come too. Swimming pools are for suburban motherfuckers.

Here’s the best part of this whole condominium purchase. Burns and his wife Julie spend most of their year in New Hampshire. What? This guy found it necessary to spread gentrification just a little bit more in BK by buying a massive condo in Prospect Heights for fun. Go back to New England where you belong, please.

Really Ken, you don’t even live here.

Kristina Leonetti, the broker from Corcoran who sold this monstrosity of an apartment to Burns, was undoubtedly laughing all the way to the bank. Maybe she’ll be invited over for a swim sometime.

In the mean time, I’ll catch y’all at the Dodge YMCA where I can count on swimming laps when it’s not family swim. Peace.