Atlantic Yards Hastily Rebranded "Pacific Park" By Housing Developer

Images via COOKFOX and Reading RainbowGreenland Forest City Partners announced on Monday that they would be “rebranding” the Atlantic Yards as part of their mandatory affordable housing project. The project, which had been delayed for years, saw new life recently when the developers realized the city would actually start fining them if they didn’t live up to their end of the bargain.

The eponymous park will be designed by the same architecture firm that did Heritage Park on the site of Old Yankee Stadium. Good to see they hired old pros at prettying up gentrified neighborhoods. Paths will lead through the park and between two residential towers on either side: 535 Carlton Ave, an 18-story, all affordable housing building and 550 Vanderbilt Ave, an all-condominium, market-rate building. Renderings of the “poor people building,” included token white folk to be racially sensitive. After all, it’s 2014 and white people can be poor too. A partner at COOKFOX, called the two buildings “the urban bookends.” Wait. Does this sound like the projects to anyone else?

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I'm So Park Slope

Image via NY Observer

Unless you've been living under a social media rock, you've probably noticed the I'm So (insert hometown here) meme that's blown up on Facebook and Twitter over the past few weeks. We thought we'd ask Roshow, our resident born and raised Slopie, to take a stab at our fair neighborhood.

I’m so Park Slope I bought my drugs at Al’s Toyland.

I’m so Park Slope I call South Slope “Sunset Park.”

I’m so Park Slope I got my Starter cap jacked walking by the Old Stone House.

I’m so Park Slope my pea shooters were made from quarter waters bought at Benny’s.

I’m so Park Slope Steve Buscemi spots me.

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Gowanus Rises: Brown Goo Oozes Forth from Drains in the Area

Images via dcrainmaker.com and gothamist.comOne day the Gowanus Canal will spew forth something truly awful that’ll most likely want to kill us. And it looks like we’re getting closer to that day. A “brown goo” is oozing up through the drains in buildings around the toxic canal. The “brown goo” is mostly likely sewage, of course.

The Bell House was one of the earliest known victims; during a book reading on July 2nd, the mysterious “brown goo” rose up through one of their toilets causing a backup. Other businesses attacked by the “brown goo” include Family Car Service and the Brooklyn Colony bar on Fourth Avenue. And, of course, the “brown goo” is after us in our home too. In some cases the sewage caused up to $50,000 of damage.

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"My Brooklyn, Then and Now" Sees the Good in Brooklyn

Photo credits: Left, Neal Boenzi/The New York Times; Damon Winter/The New York TimesWendell Jamieson’s essay in last Sunday's NYT’s travel section is the antithesis of Fucked in Park Slope. “Why’s that, because it’s actually well written?” you might ask. Funny, dick. No. Jamieson walks through Brooklyn and sees it with a loving eye, talking about what he thinks are positive changes and pointing out old businesses and cultural centers that still thrive here. And he’s completely earnest. We, on the other hand, tend to come at it like a bunch of immature assholes who can only express ourselves sarcastically. We talk shit about every new idea and whine when we can’t have something we didn’t even care about until we were told we couldn’t have it.

When Jamieson says “Brooklyn has come to represent: stylish yet relaxed, ironically embracing its industrial roots,” he generally means it in a positive way. “Of course, there are more than two Brooklyns, and it’s impossible to visit or name or know all of them... But these worlds feel in sync now. I wonder how long it will last,” the motherfucker writes later in the essay, as he actually enjoys living in the present and seeing the good in things.

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[Throwback Thursday]: Record and Tape Center

Image via brooklynvegan.comIn the fall of 1991 I got my folks to buy me the “Hand on the Pump” single at the Record and Tape Center. The Cypress Hill song about drinking 40’s and smoking blunts while waving around sawed-off shotguns was my first tape with a Parental Advisory label. While they knew enough English to understand the curse words, my parents didn’t know nearly enough slang to understand how completely inappropriate that shit really was for an 11 year old.

Even in 1991, the record store looked old fashioned and weathered. Inside, it was under-lit and dusty. The tapes were kept inside shelves with sliding glass doors and a lock. You had to ask the guy to open it and grab the tape you wanted. I was hoping he wouldn’t tip off my parents about the song’s content. He didn’t give a shit.

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