Read All About It, Little Free Library Movement In Da Hood

There are tiny wooden boxes on stilts in the Slope. They look like big birdhouses with books in them instead of birds. They’re little free libraries! There are no due dates, late fees or library cards required. The doors are open 24/7. Take that Brooklyn Public Library! Snap Barnes & Noble!

These little guys have been popping up all over the world ever since some dudes named Todd Bol and Rick Brooks put one outside an art gallery in Madison, WI. Now it’s estimated that there are more than 5,000 Little Free Libraries in 36 countries. This shit is spreading like lice in my kid’s school.

This past summer, in the barbaric borough of Manhattan, there were nine Little Free Libraries set up temporarily through the PEN World Voices Festival and the Architectural League of New York. Well, that shit didn’t work because of a few  things:

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Cool or Not Cool: Hunting in Prospect Park

Get your fingers off your iPhone’s 311 speed dial! I’m talking metal hunting. Much like extreme ironing, metal detecting is a hobby (some call it a sport) that takes place in our own Prospect Park. I often see a lone 60-something year old man prodding his metal rod (NOT a euphemism) on the dusty grounds, as in this recent picture taken by the Tennis House in Long Meadow. Apparently these folks aren’t just after the loose change that spills out of your pocket because you just ate at cash only Dizzy’s. Some are after far more interesting bounty, like a grape shot left by George Washington’s Continental Army in 1776, or your grill that popped out last week while you were spitting rhymes gangsta style in the LM (that’s Long Meadow, beeyatches)! Whatever your treasure hunt aspirations, there are park rules about this shit so listen up, all you would-be detectorists (proper term, btw). 

Basic Prospect Park Detectorist Rule #1: Metal detectors are not allowed on manicured lawns or in wooded areas. That basically leaves you with what, dusty areas and playgrounds? 

Basic Prospect Park Detectorist Rule #2: You have got to get a permit. You already have a gun permit for pigeon target play, so get one for your metal hunting hobby. Hunting is hunting. Click here for the application. Tip: They only give out a few hundred a year so hop to it.

Basic Prospect Park Detectorist Rule #3: Metal Detecting in Prospect Park is only permitted on Saturdays and Sundays. That’s right, you can only be a weekend hobbyist/metal sportster. Save the weekdays for waiting in line to take your little ones to their Mommy and Me Capoeira classes.

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Brooklyn Restaurant Serves Up Silence: Rattled Mom’s Dream Scenario or Meal-arky

Photo credit: Keith Bedford/Wall Street JournalOn September 15^th, Eat, a Greenpoint Brooklyn restaurant, held a 90 minute dining event where everyone had to STFU! If you spoke during the meal you had to pick up your plate and hightail your verbal ass out the door to an awaiting bench where you could talk to yourself or a random passersby, like (SPOILER ALERT) Cate Blanchett’s character at the end of Blue Jasmine.

This night of silent munching was pretty successful. None of the fourteen diners spoke, so no one was booted. The restaurant plans to do it again! Does this sound like a blissful evening out for all you Park Slope Mamas? There would be no “Hey, no fair, he got a bigger piece!” or “Mom, why do you drink so much wine?” There would just be peace.

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Cool or Not Cool: DJ Class for the Drooling Class

Does your little Maya, Sasha or Dante want to take a break from their drooling and defecating to drop some beats? They are in luck because the first Baby DJ class of its kind starts on Sept 18^th! They accept future beat masters fresh out of the womb, umbilical cord stub still wrapped in gauze just waiting to fall off on your carpet, all crusty and brown. That’s right, I’m talking to you, newborns! The class is for ages 0 - 3 years old. So if your Moby prodigy wants to get their funky fix on for eight sessions and you have $200 bucks burning a hole in your Mulberry wallet, go for it and be prepared to be met with “Cool!”, “What?” And “WTF?!” from luvahs and haters alike.

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HAMMOCK CULTURE SWINGING IN PROSPECT PARK

The hammock culture was out strong in our beloved Prospect Park this past weekend. My dear friend, I’ll call her Madame E, was positively agape at the plethora of them. She is caught up in the hammock culture. Yes, there is a hammock culture, just as there is a Furry culture. And just as there are online forums for the Furry culture, there are online forums for the hammock culture. Some even mention setting up hammocks in the deep bowels of Prospect Park’s woods, the same woods where someone I know (let’s call him Yo Poppa), had to pick up hundreds of used condoms for his DUI community service.

Some of the hammocks spotted this weekend were far off the pedestrian path in the long meadow and concealed by trees, as if not to draw much attention to them. Others were blatantly flashing their ropes for all to see, right off the path in densely populated areas. Madame E explained why she was taken aback by the sight of so many hammocks:

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