Brooklyn Restaurant Serves Up Silence: Rattled Mom’s Dream Scenario or Meal-arky
Felicia | Monday, September 23, 2013 at 7:00AM 
Photo credit: Keith Bedford/Wall Street JournalOn September 15th, Eat, a Greenpoint Brooklyn restaurant, held a 90 minute dining event where everyone had to STFU! If you spoke during the meal you had to pick up your plate and hightail your verbal ass out the door to an awaiting bench where you could talk to yourself or a random passersby, like (SPOILER ALERT) Cate Blanchett’s character at the end of Blue Jasmine.
This night of silent munching was pretty successful. None of the fourteen diners spoke, so no one was booted. The restaurant plans to do it again! Does this sound like a blissful evening out for all you Park Slope Mamas? There would be no “Hey, no fair, he got a bigger piece!” or “Mom, why do you drink so much wine?” There would just be peace.
Turns out the evening was, as intended, a night of “mindful eating” which is an ancient Buddhist practice that encourages silence while eating to keep you better attuned to the food, the moment and hunger cues.
The practice isn’t new to wayward westerners. Google's Palo Alto, Calif. campus hosts a monthly hour-long, silent, vegan lunch for employees. Even Oprah has her own mindful eating coach. Wow, that’s a cool job, “Your pie hole is now only for eating, Oprah, not for yapping. Got it. Good. Now hand me my paycheck. Peace out, Opes.” That’s how I imagine the job goes.
At Eat’s first go of it, among the various courses of summer squash chili basil soup, handmade whole wheat pasta and scallops and calamari, there was a lot pantomiming, building origami and paper airplanes, meditating (maybe it was napping) and occasional texting. I’m sure it was mindful texting though.
The restaurant is straight out of an episode of Portlandia or a Park Sloper’s wet dream (same diff). Their website describes it as:
…dedicated to sourcing exclusively from small local producers. Our philosophy is simple: Local organic food is best for the community, the environment, and your body, and that is what we choose to serve.
They also sell furniture, metal work and ceramics made by the owner Jordan Colón and other regional artisans. You can get a couch with your locally-pickled cornichons! How quaint. It used to be a record store that served coffee. Even quainter!
I would request that you please don't talk about murder while i'm eating, but other than that, I like a good convo while scarfing down some locavore-friendly fare, even if it’s about why mommy always drinks red juice with dinner. How about you? Worth a trip on the G train to quietly consume? Is silence golden or the golden shower of Brooklyn poseurs?
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