8 Balling a Baller's Paradise: Amex Presale for Barclay Center Announced

According to BumperShine, American Express is having a pre-sale for an All-Access Pass to the Nets 2012-2013 season in their new stadium, the Barclay Center (or as I like to call it: the giant steel shit Bruce Ratner took on us all). And there is an actual date! September 28, 2012!

 

Just look at these frightening renderings. Don't you love all those life-like weird looking people superimposed over computer images of what looks like the cafe at Ikea redone 5 different ways? On what planet does any of this look appealing? And all for the Nets? Really, the Nets? I was born and raised in NJ and I moved to Brooklyn to run away from the embarrassment of Jersey disasters like the Nets and big hair. Why don't we just build a stadium for bed bugs? At least they're good at what they do.

 

I'm going to venture a guess that most FIPS readers are against this monstrosity because of impending traffic congestion, noise pollution, plunging property values and resulting cock blockage from everyone's favorite Target. So I thought I would turn to my modern Delphi, the Magic 8 Ball) and see what it thought of our little cluster fuck to be: (I say again, like I say every time, I do not reshake. Whatever the 8 ball responds, I write!)

 

Magic 8 Ball How are you? 

M8B: Most likely.

 

Great! So let's dive right in. Do you think the Barclay Center is the WORST. IDEA. EVER? 

M8B: You may rely on it. 

 

Do you think the North Slope will suffer because it's close(ish) proximity? 

M8B: Yes.

 

How so? Traffic on event nights? Noise pollution? A systematic extermination of bike lanes? 

M8B: You may rely on it. 

 

Wow, no naysaying for you today huh? 

M8B: Most likely.  

 

Is that you're go-to answer for personal questions?

M8B: Without a doubt. 

 

Will the Nets suck just as hard in Brooklyn as they did in New Jersey?

M8B: You may rely on it.

 

Good at least they're consistent. Do you think the Barclay Center's emblem looks like the Blue

Cross/Blue Shield emblem and is thus, lame?

M8B: Very doubtful.

 

Maybe that's just me then. M8B are you really excited to see other family-friendly events like Sesame Street on Ice and the latest Cirque Du Sogay when they roll into town?

M8B: Very doubtful. 

 

Yeah, me neither. Do you miss Freddy's in it's old location?

M8B: It is decidedly so. 

 

Me too. Oh well.