BREAKING: Local Hipster Plans to Wear IDF Shirt to Sunday Brunch at Dizzy's
Benjamin | Monday, January 5, 2009 at 8:50AM 
PARK SLOPE, Brooklyn (FIPSNN) – 10th street resident Aaron Feldman announced plans this morning to wear his IDF T-Shirt to an 11am brunch at Dizzy's. With Israeli ground troops entering Gaza and the current wave of violence entering it's 9th day, local analysts predict that Feldman's move in the largely Palestinian-supporting South Slope could be suicidal.
Feldman, a park slope Hipster and Heeb magazine subscriber, describes his move as one of disgust and defiance.
"You know what, it's not a popular viewpoint in this neighborhood, but violence is the only language those people understand. Why does no one condemn the constant rocket attacks on Israel during a time of so called-truce," Feldman argued, "if there were fucking rockets hitting Dizzy's for chrissakes, you think we wouldn't retaliate, or that we'd demand a measured response?"
Elizabeth Fitz, a Park Slope yoga instructor, condemned the move as aggressive and distasteful.
"Normally, I mind my own business when I'm walking down the street," Fitz explained, " I see them walking around with those IDF shirts in the summer, I think maybe they were on a Kibbutz, or even served in the army themselves – I try to mind my own business – but to wear that fucking shirt on a day like today? it's disgusting. Would they wear a shirt of the South African Military that fought against Nelson Mandela? Would they wear a pro-apartheid shirt? Because that's essentially the message they're sending."
Dr. Charles Salter, a professor of Sociological Studies at Oberlin College, highlighted the importance of t-shirt messaging in modern Hipster culture.
"It's a mistake to view wearing a T-shirt as a simple action, " explained Dr. Salter, "in today's passive-aggressive Hipster culture, T-shirt messaging is the core physical outlet for self-expression and political positioning. My freshman students, some of whom have spent more time on the Internet than at the mall, have trouble understanding the importance of T-Shirt messaging; I just tell them to think of it as a realspace Twitter update."
Anya Cohen, a hostess at Dizzy's, reacted to the news with surprise.
"I'll believe it when I see it," she said, "a lot of these guys are all talk. It would certainly be a ballsy move, but I have to reiterate that a customer is a customer, and Dizzy's waitstaff would never discriminate for any reason: We treat all of our customers like shit regardless of political affiliation. "
Ms. Cohen's duties also include concept and rendering for the Daily Bread, a chalkboard menu which is placed on the sidewalk outside the restaurant and traditionally displays specials and a political or philosophical message. This morning, FIPSNN asked whether the colorful "FREE PALESTINE" she was drawing on the Daily Bread could likewise be interpreted as controversial.
"Absolutely not," replied Ms. Cohen, "this is completely different."
jews, ongoing beefs 
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Reader Comments (12)
I'm sending this to everyone I know
Dr. Salter, "Realspace Twitter update."
Classic! That's more lethal than a thousand suicide bombs.
so perfect, it can't be described. i think this is my new favorite blog.
This is exactly why this is my favorite blog! Thanks and keep it up!!
You are a hipster?
Great parody of the typical NY Times "neighborhood" article! Complete with academic quotes!
A winnah!
since when, and who declared, South Slope a Palestinian supporting neighborhood??? and by Palestinian I assume you mean Hamas...
anon 9:40
first of all, where you been? ALL "progressive" socities from Europe to the UN to Berkeley to Park Slope support a Free Palestine over Israel.
Last time I checked, South Slope falls into those categories.
Number two, Hamas is the freely elected government of the Palestinian people- deal with it.
FIPS, is the most cutting edge news outlet on the web, this article proves it 100%--rock on bitches!
Best post yet! Keep it up, Benjamin.
love this neighborhood for many reasons, but one thing i can't stand is the liberal fucking bullshit. especially the cocksucking support for "Palestine".
funny how the whole world is looking for a cease fire. THERE WAS A CEASE FIRE. Israel abided by it, the Cocksuckers didn't and that's why Israel is doing what they damn-fucking-right have to and should be doing.
AMAZE!