The Mexicans at Uncle Moe's and Russo's Really Wanna Bang My Hot Little Wife
Benjamin | Monday, December 8, 2008 at 7:18AM 
What's the spanish word for MILF?
Every time I walk into either of these places with my wife and kids, the guys behind the counter treat her like a piece of bistec. They chuckle to each other in their secret language, and when they address her they give her the eyes from the cover of Latin Inches. nsfw.
No other race of food service professionals behaves in quite the same way:
The Itallians at Bagel Delight treat her like a hardworking mom - they are friendly, supportive, and sweet.
The Blacks at Fresh Direct, who come into our home for chrissakes, are nothing but professional and polite - even if the one who isn't allowed to talk has served hard time.
The Chinese Delivery man treats her like a valued customer. If he thinks, privately, that her feet should be bound - he never mentions a thing.
The Jews at Friedman's Deli try to swindle her like they do everyone else; never a sexual vibe.
But those Latin Lovers. They can't be any hornier than the other groups, can they? Do they just love little Jewish chicks? My wife is petite and has dark coloring - dark as in Sarah Silverman, not Mariah Carey - is that just their jam?
Any of you getting the extra pico de gallo vibe? Digame.
milfs 
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Reader Comments (19)
hahaYES! Those guys are serious scumbags (uncle moe's - don't know about the other place)
my wife (also jewish hmmm) is sketched to go there at all and makes me pick up dinner on the way home (unrelated lol)
or maybe you are just being super racist? "secret language"? I hope this is supposed to be sarcastic. It's still not funny.
signed,
latina who thinks your wife is busted
anonymous Latina - what is RACIST about reporting the truth? This is his experience - and MINE for that matter - Show me the RACIST part of this post. Why is it racist - because we're WHITE?
Racial HUMOR is not the same as being RACIST.
go back to park slope 1995, you pc fool
Congrats Benjamin, you're doing bn proud.
hey wait... those same guys @ Uncle Moe's try to pick me up too, and I'm a guy!
Anonymous-
Thanks for proving humorless political correctness is still alive and well.
I was worried you'd left for good. Stick around, it's gonna get better.
I'm pretty sure this post was just an excuse for Benjamin to post a photo of Silverman's cleavage. How many bathroom breaks did you take before you finally finished the post?
And how'd you know about Latin Inches? And how many bathroom breaks did that net?
David, that's more like it.
Tally (so far) was 2 for the cleve, none for Latin Inches (YET) but I did get a tickle in my anus
Milf in spanish is "mamacita". I am pretty sure we invented the term. You can extend the "C" part as in "mamazzzzita" for extra sleaziness.
I'm PR and i approved this funny shit. but don't be surprised at mami, that's how the angry latinas do-
I never thought sarah silverman was anything much but damn that pic is making me hard to work
LOL...and LMAO @ Secret language!
Don't take it personal...spanish men seem to be the "friendliest" men on the planet!
I stumbled upon this little blog and I think I'm gonna get sick. Give me p.c. park slope from '95 or whatever arbitrary date you've concocted over a bunch of YES white people bringing their "effed up" racial issues to this hood. Icky. And LAME. and yes, not funny.
-a white person
To the white lady, that's right, ladylips..
You're a dumbass. Go read gowanus lounge. The racial issues are the only good thing on the blog that make it any different.
Anonymous Latina and other pc crybabies, just stop with the phony outrage just because Benjamin has decided to provide us with a slice of real race relations in his neighborhood. It's his blog, why the fuck shouldn't he bring it up here for open dialog. Besides Latina please don't tell me you don't have a good laugh at the expense of whitey occasionally, so stop with the language double standard in regards to race. As a Puerto Rican, I'm telling you Benjamin those Mexicans are basically sodomizing your wife visually. I know this cause I actually know what those sexual deviants are saying!
I love jewish girls and look them up and down every chance I get!
can the creators of the blog stop commenting? I thought the point was to have others do that. And this nouveau Archie Bunker b.s. is not new or intersting. There's a lot more in Park Slope that's ripe for satire, including you recent transplants and your supposed foil to the breeders. wait a couple of years. Oh, I forgot. you'll have moved to Jersy by then. (And remebering my audience, see wikipedia for Bunker reference)
Yes, cable guy, "Racial HUMOR is not the same as being RACIST," but neither is "bad humor the same as being funny".
what IS funny is that the "edgy funny" parts of this blog are mostly overtaken by the "stupid ignorant" bits. And this is your little community of blog handles that seem to know each other and get off on it.
Yes, the guys at Uncle Moe's & Russo's have earned a rep for being sleazy to women but -- far from being rascist -- this is a sexist one. Women get harrassed there and all over park slope all the time and most guys either participate or don't give a shit. And they think using Spanish means they get away with it.
There IS a difference between political correctness (can you say '80s?) and saying how it is. And what it is, is that the 'secret language' comment is unfunny enough that it becomes rascist at worst, and ignorant at best. Nice writing. Yep, a lot of people miss junior high. Thanks for recreating it virtually.
My problem (before you all anonymously tell me what it is) has been wasting my time the last couple weeks checking out this blog.
Yo Mzza!
Thanks for leaving your name this time - glad I could check out http://imaginarycollective.blogspot.com/" REL="nofollow">your site.
Imaginary Blog, huh? Catchy title! How do your imaginary readers feel about it!
Listen, you had a trial period with F.I.P.S. and it didn't work out. Oh well, no harm done. Like I tell the folks over at http://www.blognigger.com" REL="nofollow">my place - the site isn't for everyone - and it's obvious this blog isn't for you.
Time to move along, see ya on jezebel; next!!
Hey Blognigger,
Just so you know, I've never posted anonymously here or anywhere else -- so you don't mix me up with some other self-righteous commentor (and FYI: Imaginary Blog isn't my project).
And I've even posted to your site (and sent you traffic -- especially over your contract with the baby people and the un-baby people). But that's seriously, smart, funny writing. It's not just button pushing or, as I like to call it, "boring".
And yer right, every site is not for everyone, I just wish that 90% of blogs didn't try to be South Park. Of course it probably helps that the folks making them already start out two-dimensional...
the person who writes this blog takes themselves way too seriously. is it a requirement to have a snarky blog if you're at least semi-literate and live in park slope? i've lived in bh, ch, wb, rh, and never encountered the depths of uncool that permeate park slope. it's almost as if the constituency of ps is made up of the most intolerant, up-your-ass types any of us ever knew in 7th grade. case in point; i helped set up a stoop sale for a friend this past summer in ps, and was resting my hand on the handle of a stroller my friend was looking to unload. within seconds an irate, yes irate ps MOMMY, came over to me, warning me against purchasing this particular model as it had been determined to have structural defects and was poorly reviewed. i explained it was being sold, ... worst thing i could've said. in a voice loud enough to be heard by most anyone in south brooklyn, she explained that she was indeed qualified to comment as she was the initiator of some mommy-daddy-baby blog that i apparently should've read already by 9 a.m. that morning. ..... probably the most up close and personal encounter with total lack of hip yet in the slope. i realize this example has little to do with your wife's experience with the BAD MEN at the deli. it's presented as another example of how the most basic events in park slope, buying meat at a deli, setting up for a stoop sale, are enough to bring out levels of pique that seem disproportionate. my wife, a psychotherapist has a field day when we venture there. her last remark regarding this tendency of the slopers was that to react so extremely to such a nonevent is typical of social immaturity, and insecurity. as an aside, doesn't it make you chuckle the least bit that other men find your wife as attractive as you hopefully still do? lighten up dude, maybe you'll eventually be welcome outside the slope.