BAGEL OFF '08: 2 Blogs, 6 Park Slope Bagel Shops, 7 Everything Bagels w/Scallion Cream Cheese, 1 Winner
Erica | Monday, December 15, 2008 at 12:41AM 
In case you missed the hullabaloo last week, there was a hearty discussion afoot re: the best Park Slope Bagel. Quite a few of you had some *very* strong opinions on this matter, and let's just say we were intrigued. Based on the number of emails, comments, twitters and one drive by vote (screamed out of my next door neighbor Karen's car on her way to Costco), we decided to take on the challenge of scientifically uncovering the BEST PARK SLOPE BAGEL.
Joined by our fellow Park Sloper and blogger bud Jewssip, we set out on Saturday morn to figure this shit out, once and fer all.
Now, duh, this is obvs a very subjective exercise, but we did try to take measures to ensure that judging was as fair and balanced as possible. Here's what went down:
*We chose the 5 most talked about/discussed Bagel locales in the Slope: La Bagel Delight, Bagel Hole, 5th Avenue Bageltique, Bagel World and Brownstone Bagel & Bread.
*We ordered the same thing from each place: an everything bagel (not toasted) with scallion cream cheese.
*Each bag was marked with the location and bagel price.
*We came home, measured and ate each bagel (in order of cheapest to most expensive).
*A clear winner emerged.
To be fair, here is my full disclosure, existing bias: I have been a tried and true La Bagel Delight devotee since January '06, and would have fought anyone who challenged me on "the best bagel in the Slope" question to an immediate full contact duel. Also, my great, grandpa was one of the original partners at Katz's Deli, so I come from a long line of big eatin', Jewish, know-it-alls (i.e. I am totally qualified to conduct this experiment).
Ok, so here are the results:
6. WORST BAGEL IN THE SLOPE: Brownstone Bagel & Bread
671 Union Street
(btwn 4th and 5th aves)
718-622-6030
This bagel sucked...and I kinda hated it. There were seeds on both sides of the bagel, however, it was way too garlic-y. Everything's typically have a carefully balanced mix of...well...everything, but this one could have been served with a Caesar salad and an order of baked clams with all that garlic goin' on. It was slightly dry and had some definite crunch but what REALLY got my haterade flowing was the cream cheese. Remember, we ordered an everything bagel with scallion cream cheese at every locale. Well take a look at this!:
Now there *were* some scallions in here too, but there was also red pepper, and maybe even some carrot (it was hard to tell). UN-FUCKING-ACCEPTABLE.
I get that there is a bizarre underclass of people out in the world who like and appreciate vegetable cream cheese, but I am decidedly not one of them. When I order scallion cream cheese, I want scallions and scallions only in my whip. EPIC FAIL.
*I took one bite of this one.
5. ALMOST THE WORST BAGEL IN THE SLOPE: Bagel World
339 5th Avenue
(btwn 4th and 5th streets)
718-499-1143
Now, there were some specific shoutouts in the comments for Bagel World, so I was hoping this might be our silent underdog. Also, it was the most crowded of all of the bagel haunts, and that *has* to count for something, right? Unfortch, very much no.
As Jewssip astutely pointed out, this bagel looks like it was covered in bird feed. Each half of the bagel is coated (top and bottom) with every type of seed you can imagine, creating a mish mosh of a bagel that is supposed to taste like "everything" and kinda tastes like nothing. This was also the softest (read: gummiest) of all the bagels (if your kid is teething, this should be your go to spot). And as for the cream cheese, it was so whipped, it was Leprechaun green. I don't know, I do love me some scallions, but also I don't want to feel like I'm eating a St. Patrick's Day parade bagel.
Also, this was the only "double bagged" bagel--it was wrapped in both paper AND tin foil. Thorough or an affront to planet Earth...you decide.
I will, however, give Bagel World some extra points for the "best overall" bagel experience. It *felt* most like a bagel place out of all of our stops: great long glass counter with lots of homemade salads, cream cheeses, etc. Baskets of bagel chips, day old bagels and more. They also had the best selection of yummy looking baked goods (none of which I tried) including this insane looking chocolate muffin that had a hole in the middle and seemed to be filled with some of cheese-cakey type situation.
*I took two or three bites of this bagel
4. THE "JUST OK FOR ME, DAWG" BAGEL IN THE SLOPE: 5th Avenue Bageltique
242 Fifth Avenue
(btwn Carroll & Garfield Streets)
718-638-1866
There's not really much to say about Bageltique (WTF is Bageltique, by the way? Is that supposed to be like boutique, but for baygs?). This is a pretty decent bagel. It's def on the chewier side, and the cream cheese was surprisingly good. The bagel itself was kinda low on seeds, but that didn't bother me so much. There was nothing offensive about this bagel...and also nothing that would cause me to ever seek it out. If you live in the area, I would def hit up Bageltique over Bagel World, but if you aren't lazy, I would probs skip em both and walk up to La Bagel.
*I took two bites of this bagel
3. & 2. THE SECOND BEST BAGEL IN THE SLOPE: La Bagel Delight
122 Seventh Avenue
(btwn Carrol & President)
718-398-9529
AND
252 Seventh Avenue
(@5th Street)
718-768-6107
Ok, so when I say "scientific," I fucking mean s-c-i-e-n-t-i-f-i-c. We decided to visit BOTH Park Slope locations of La Bagel Delight in an effort to best and most fairly represent the experience of N. Slopers and S. Slopers.
Personally I could barely detect any difference between the two La Bagel baygs. The bagel we purchased from the S. Slope locale was slightly bigger, but that obvs happens a lot when you are dealing with homemade bagels. I think there is a v. nice crunch to softness ratio with this bagel, and I also think this is prob the best all around bagel IF you are more of a "meat-n-potatoes" typical, no desire to mix it up bagel consumer. Also, I think their scallion cream cheese was, by far, the best of the bunch (and they are extremely generous with their cream cheese application).
However, this bagel was also the most expensive.
If forced to choose, I suppose I would crown my N. Slope bagel the winner amongst the two locations, but that's probably mostly because I live closer to that one.
My love for La Bagel runs far and deep, however, for their purposes of our experiment, there can only be one clear winner. Sadly, La Bagel Delight fell slightly short and was not victorious.
*I ate a whole half and a quarter of this bagel
1. THE *****BEST***** BAGEL IN THE SLOPE: Bagel Hole, bitches
400 Seventh Avenue
(btwn 12th & 13th Streets)
718-788-4014
Let's get real for a min. We hauled our asses all over town for Bagel Off '08, but in the end, this was really a La Bagel Delight vs. Bagel Hole competition.
With my established prejudices steering me firmly toward the La Bagel camp pre-game, I was very skeptical about all of this Bagel Hole internet chatter (esp. Arthur Schwart'z seemingly outdated "best bagel in NYC" proclamation). I was totally prepared (and looking forward) to publicly hating on "the Hole" and running back to La Bagel like nothing ever happened.
But, goddammit, all you Bagel Holers were totally fucking right. *This* is the best bagel in Park Slope.
The seeds are just on one side of the Hole bagel, which is perfect for me because my main ish with everything bagels is that they are sometimes usually over-seeded. Bagel Hole (with their one seeded side technique) produces a well thought out, and perfectly balanced bagel.
But my fav-oh-rite thing about baygs from da Hole is that they are wonderfully crunchy. The softness to crunch balance was perfect for me, but I'm def a "crunch" girl. I get that there are those out there who don't necessarily go for the crunch, but then you bitches need to get your own blog and do your own Bagel Off '08.
Bagel Hole bagels are also much smaller than the giant flying discs many of us are used to, but even that I kinda liked. Thinking on her feet, Jewssip had the foresight to get TWO bagels from Bagel Hole and, as it turned out, it was a very smart decision.
While the scallion cream cheese was good, I def don't think it was as strong as La Bagel Delight's. They don't glob it on, and were not quite as generous as La Bagel with their shmear, however, the kick-assedness of their bagels, certainly makes up for any shortfalls in the whip. Also, when there is *too* much cream cheese, you end up getting it all over the place, and that's very fucking annoying.
Best of all, this was the cheapest bagel!
*I ate this entire bagel (and was pissed at Jewssip for not buying a third).
And so my fellow Slopesters, Bagel Off '08 sadly must come to an end. With Bagel Hole firmly in place as our new Prom Queen, and my trunk unable to handle one more ounce of junk, I'm starting Weight Watchers today (so not kidding).
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Reader Comments (26)
Sadly, these are all poor imitations of a classic Brooklyn Bagel. There's too much dough and not enough crunch. A classic Brooklyn Bagel should be an affront to your dentalwork.
I knew Bagel Hole would kick ass!
@bunnykins: have you ever tried a Bagel Hole bagel?? There is more crunch then you'll know what to do with.
Oh man! I was really pulling for Bagel World ... I literally go there every single Saturday and Sunday, pretty much without fail. But hey, I guess I'll give this Bagel Hole place a try. Thanks for doing the research :)
What a worthless column. You couldn't drag your puppy and Bugaboo down a few blocks to AREA Bagels or *gasp* across Flatbush to Bergen Bagels?
North Slope and the Heights never get any love. It's like the world matters less the more concentric circles you walk away from the corner of 7th ave. and 9th st.
Bagel hole is the only place that has the old time small crunchy but soft inside bagels. All the other places prepare bagels on steroids that have sweeped this city in the last 10 years. Since when did ny'ers lose the plot with bagels? At least Bagel Hole carries on the tradition. good Selection!
Is it just 'cause Bergen Bagels over the Flatbush border? Is that why Terrace Bagels wasn't considered either?
@Jeff: Yes, we just stuck to Park Slope proper for the purposes of Bagel Off '08. I'm *sure* there are many other amazing bagels to be had all over our fine borough (and boroughs beyond), but for our experiment we were just sticking to Park Slope.
@anon 10:14: I'm very sorry you feel the entire exercise was deemed worthless b/c we did not "drag our bugaboo" across Flatbush (for the record, my puppy, who's not a puppy at all, but a 50 pound basset hound, doesn't fit into a fucking bugaboo. Anyway...). I'm guessing you have your finger on the pulse of everything worthwhile going on in Park Slope, so feel free to send us your contact info and we will try to run any and all future editorial decisions by you.
bagel hole is great. let's shush the chatter about it so the lines don't get longer than they already are, especially on weekend mornings.
that said, bagel world on 5th has the oddest awning art, a likeness of a bagel with continental shapes superimposed, but the total effect akin to a moldy bagel.
photo courtesy of fips: http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_LSxcl_-bzds/SUQccr6wcKI/AAAAAAAABdE/Q-gBlh3-zGs/s1600-h/Bagel+World+Ext.png
Eh, Bergen Bagel is good, but not as good as Bagel Delight. When I lived on Bergen (one block from Bergen Bagels) I would stroll down to F Line bagels for my bagels (Smith and 9th). I'm not sure about how F Line is doing now, but two years ago, they were the best bagels in Brooklyn that I've ever tasted.
So glad I stumbled onto your blog. I'm a sloper, though maybe not a proper sloper as I have neither dog nor baby. :)
This was a great post.
Don't be too surprised if, when your walking your dog, someone(me) yells Woo hoo Bagel 08! Doesn't seem like there are many basset hounds running around our neighborhood.
-Grace
www.FearlessCooking.tv
You suck at analyzing bagels in Park Slope. Get a job or spend less time eating and more time blowing your husband.
Terrace Bagels on PPW is almost Park Slope anyway depending on your realtor..on nice days we bike over there for a treat even though D-Lite is two blocks away. It's no contest! You get the real crunch there and their spreads are money.
Brownstone really is crap. I wouldn't go in there if I was dying of hunger. And the mooks that work there are cheats and rip-offs.
your quasi-scientific approach has its merits. you argument for best bagel is compelling, yet I am unconvinced.
I want satisfaction in a bagel. When I buy a bagel, I am shopping for pure, delicious satisfaction. That's why I ride for Bagel World. Their everything bagel is garlicky a testament to corpse breath all over park slope.
The other places just don't satisfy. And I am a big-eatin' Heeb.
LOVE this post. I just wrote about bagels in a post last week (http://eatbrooklynfood.blogspot.com/2008/12/bagel-store.html) and it generated the most comments ever - there's serious bagel love/hate out there. My family used to DRIVE to Bagel Hole it's so good. Thanks!
i don't live anywhere freakin near park slope and this commentary has got me riveted. love picturing a 50 lb basset hound in a bugaboo. classic! great blog.
yeah, my family used to call the La Bagel Delight "goyishe bagels".
Bagel Hole is good - still not crunchy enough to merit classic status, though.
No hate for any of them, though.
Brownstone bagels taste like shit. They really do. I don't know how you screw up a bagel that badly. Sad news.
1) You say "obvs" too much.
2) Good post. Were you tasting scallions all day?
3) My boyfriend buys a bagel every day from Conneticut Muffin. It's crap and tastes like cardboard but the guys there are really nice.
Although I really am impressed with your thoroughness and dedication to bagel Off '08, I definitely think you should have tried Terrace Bagel on PPW. Try it next time, I'm serious! My boyfriend and I go there every Sunday for our bagels and we do live in Park Slope proper. It is worth the trip. -Molly
yes i know this all abbout park slope bagels but the best bagels in brooklyn are at bagel bazaar on 86th st near bay parkway in bensonhurst.
Bagel Hole has not only the best bagels in ps but in the whole city.
original PSer...
been going to to La Bagel since it opened and i love it..
they havent changed one bit, including some of the guys who work there...
i like my bagels like i like my sex...
with everything on both sides..and a shmear in between....
"i like my bagels like i like my sex...
with everything on both sides..and a shmear in between...."
WTF does that even mean?
Also, looking forward to checking out Bagel Hole now that the dust has settled.
Nice roundup, but I could have used a touch more pedantry. (I'm a pedant.) There is just such a misunderstanding in this world of what bagels classically are. They are not giant sweet cakes, a la H&H. They are not rolls. They are thick, smallish, with some crunch (they are boiled and then baked), and you can faintly taste the malt syrup. By these standards, Bagel Hole makes not only the best bagels in the Slope but the ONLY bagels in the Slope. I mean classic bagels; I would never denigrate peoples' taste for puffy caky bagels if that's the way their taste runs.