What Matters To Park Slope?

OK, so Park Slope Patch posted this whole big article on "What Matters To Park Slope" ...and it was by Smartmom, natch.

The title was so dramatic, I was expecting a gigantic neighborhood wide survey filled with impassioned resident responses covering a whole host of issues. Instead we got a bunch of crap from neighborhood movers-n-shakers on what they *think* matters to Park Slope. Or really what matters to them. And yes there was some interesting stuff in there fer sure (gentrification, educating immigrants nannies, etc), but also I wondered if it was really reflective of what you ppl actually give a shit about.

Cause yes, obvs I'm a total self-centered, entitled, dirty Jew, White bitch, but also: I don't think about my existence here in this neighborhood within the framework of bigger political issues on a day-to-day basis. Perhaps that's myopic of me, but it's true. So if you asked me "what matters to you about Park Slope?," my answers would be a lil diff.

Here's what matters to me:

• Why are so many restaurants closing around here? What is everyone doing wrong? Cause yes: I get that you need people coming in, but also: some of these joints that have shut down were really good and seemed to be crowded all the time? (i.e Long Tan, etc). Is it really just about people not spending as much, or are restaurant owners just fucking the whole thing up again and again?
• BED BUGS. I can't get them out of my fucking mind. I know I have a problem...and that admitting it is the first step, so here: MY NAME IS ERICA AND I'M TOTALLY FUCKING PETRIFIED OF GETTING BED BUGS. 
• Speaking of bed bugs, are people even having stoop sales anymore? Is the era of the stoop sale over? Cause I've got some shit to sell and I'm wondering if I should just give it away?
• How on earth do we *still* not have: Korean Fried Chicken in this nabe? Or a decent salad bar joint?? HOW???
• Why haven't any of you bitches sent me more pics of Jake Gyllenhaal? That was like our biggest traffic day evar. Or fine: Anne Hathaway.

Your turn. WHAT MATTERS TO YOU, PARK SLOPE? TELL ME NOWWWWWW.

image via Park Slope Lens