Whassup: You Deserve This Edition

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So, Brooklyn has bacon cronuts. That is a thing that is true. Gothamist calls them the best cronut-knockoffs around. And they have bacon on them. And Nutella (!). And they're in Brooklyn. SHOVE THEM IN YER FAAAAAACCE. For breakfast, lunch and dinner. Do it. They can be purchased for consumption and/or humiliating, almost-sexual worship at Le Petit Bakery in Ft. Greene. Because Brooklyn, bacon cronuts are your right. Welcome to Whassup: You Deserve This Edition:

* Thursday, July 18: "Enter the Dragon," BK Bridge Park (DUMBO): Brooklyn Bridge Park has a new summer movie series (sponsored by the SyFy network, which I still think is a stupid name). The theme is tourist-worthy cities, and today's entry takes you to Hong Kong to watch Bruce Lee kick every single ass so much. Takes place on the Harbor View Lawn, with a genuinely awesome view of the Manhattan skyline behind the screen. 6pm, FREE.

* Thursday, July 18: 'Rime of the Ancient Mariner,' Bandshell: Spooky cabaret theater artists The Tiger Lillies take on Samuel Taylor Coleridge's classic poem of high-seas curses and big, blatant metaphors. Taste the salt brine in the air and feel the scurvy in your bones. Then buy a Six Point at the concessions stand. 6:30pm Doors, FREE ($3 suggested donation). 

* Friday, July 19: Summer Stroll, Bay Ridge: Like, walking. Like, actually walking. With space to do it. Like, not crammed into a little sidewalk. Like, actually in the street, as if this Earth belonged to organisms like us, and not our machines. This is getting too grandiose, so I'll get to the point: Summer Stroll gives you the whole damn avenue to walk on (3rd Ave., to be precise, from 80th to 90th St.). Stroll like a goddamn country boy. Along the way, you shall be serenaded by music makers, and sold foods by Monaco's Bakery, Uncle Luigi G's Ice Cream and others. Get fat while you exercise! The way it should be. 6pm-10pm, FREE.

* Saturday, July 20: Tomato Battle!, BK Aviator Field: Do what you've always wanted to do to your fellow New Yorkers during the hot, summer months: chuck things at their fucking faces. It's a big-ass tomato fight. There's also bands and beer and other shit that one might expect at a summer event. But the chucking. Waste food like a proud American, Slopers. Because it's not like you were going to do anything to help world hunger, anyway. Noon-6pm, $50.

* Saturday, July 20: Gowanus Voyage, 2nd St. Boat Launch: Part of City of Water Day, happening across NY, this is a chance to explore all the Superfund super-fun of the Gowanus Canal. You'll pilot little mini-research vessels to get a close-up look at the three-eyed, mutant fish populating our fair canal's waters. 1-6pm, FREE.

* Tuesday, July 23: Punderdome Takes Manhattan, Housing Works Bookstore (SoHo): Holy shit, did you guys know there's like this whole other island just past DUMBO? Whoa! And they do stuff there, too. Including, lately, Brooklyn stuff. Such as, Park Slope's favorite/only amateur pun competition, Punderdome 3000. It's always a chaotic event, with a charmingly uncool adoration for the pun. And now it is set to corrupt The City with it's Brooklyn adorkability. Tell other audience members that you actually live in Brooklyn, and answer all their questions about it. 7pm, $10. 

* ONGOING: Help Sunny's: The Times (you know, that old-media rag that keeps rediscovering Brooklyn) recently ran a piece about Red Hook institution Sunny's and its struggles to reopen. Read that shit, and love Brooklyn and feel like you want to help this great old bar and its great old owners, Sunny Balzano and Tone Johansen. Then do so by visiting their Indiegogo campaign and ponying up some legal tender. Make this happen, Brooklyn.