Whassup: Supergorgeathon Edition

via freefantasyfootballpicks.com

Are you filled, Brooklyn? Are you filled with so much football rage?! Meh, yeah, me neither. I guess it's just not so exciting when there's no idiot-savant quarterback leading a NY team against Ken and the Patriots. And also: it's Park Slope. We eat way too many organic things to be big football fans. Still, the Big Game is a great excuse to eat and drink a lot more than you should, which we here at Whassup encourage without reservation. So, welcome to Whassup: Supergorgeathon Edition:

* Friday, Feb 1: Borough Battle, Greene Space: You've got Brooklyn pride, right? After all, you didn't come all the way here from rural Minnesota for nothing. And while here, you may have noticed that some of your fellow Brooklynites are in bands. By "some," I of course mean "all." So, as rich as this borough is in poor musicians, it's gotta beat the others in the Battle of the Boroughs, right? You can start showing your support Friday, when the Brooklyn bands in the competition host a concert. It features, among others, FiPS' favorite (and Slope resident), Rabbi Darkside. The show's sold out, but you can catch the livestream on the website. 7pm, FREE (online).

* Friday, Feb. 1: Live Rawk-aoke, Rock Shop: Throw up some devil horns -- INSIDE YOUR OWN THROAT!! That's how hardcore this description is going to be, right off the bat. Because it's necessary. The Punk Rock Heavy Metal Karaoke Band is exactly what it sounds like: they shred their instruments, and you shred your vocal cords to whatever punk, rock, and metal song suits your fancy. Rock isn't dead, people -- it's just a novelty act now. But an experienced one: these guys have been at it since 1999. 8pm, $5.

* Saturday, Feb. 2: Meat Week, Little Bro BBQ (Clinton Hill): Seriously, fuck vegetarianism. Eat meat with your God-given face. We're actually getting on towards the end of "Meat Week," which is a, wait for it, weeklong meat crawl through New York. It's all pretty informal. You just show up at the places, and they have meaty specials. There's one Brooklyn spot left, though: Little Brother BBQ in Clinton Hill. It's a good way to pre-gorge in preparation for Sunday's game. 5pm. 

* (Super Bowl) Sunday, Feb. 3: Pigskin Pig Out, Pork Slope: And now, for the main, meat event. The Super Bowl is all about overeating. Why should the obese men knocking heads together onscreen get to hog all the long-term health problems? Destroy your arteries with Pork Slope's delicious buffalo chicken meatballs special, wing-eating contest, 20-piece nuggets, and more in the dead-animal vein. The BBQ roadhouse also has a 55-inch TV to watch McDonald's and Budweiser commercials on. 6:30pm kick-off (you'll probes want to get there much earlier). 

* (Super Bowl) Sunday, Feb. 3: San Frantastic Football, Pacific Standard: Of, course, some of you might have actual skin in this game. E.G., for example, mayhaps you're from San Francisco. If so, the best place to get all Bay Area about this shit is definitely the No-Cal beer snobbery, Pacific Standard. 6:30pm kick-off.

* Tuesday, Feb. 5: National Pancake Day, IHOP: I don't know. This is totally corporate and chain-y. But, on the other hand -- FREE PANCAKES! Check out Brokelyn's breakdown of Brooklyn IHOP locations whereat you may be-syrup your soul.

* Tuesday, Feb. 5: Geeking Out, Union Hall: FiPS' own (now-former) managing editor Kerri Doherty hosts this excellent idea of a show: it's all about being adorkable superfans. (Recently, you may have seen, they hit some fandom paydirt outside the "30 Rock" studios). The special guest for this Geeking Out is Michael Showalter, who never fails to disappoint me in my expectations for how funny he'll be. But he is pretty famous and has done some great stuff in the past. Personally, I'll be much more excited about Jeff Simmermon, a Moth-style storyteller who's just very, very good at what he does. 8pm-9:30pm, $7.