Whassup: Mardi Gratuitous Edition

via inaresort.com

This past week, you had Mardis Gras to organize your binge-drinking around -- "Mardi Gras," which is of course French for "beads earned due to the possession of breasts." But just because the French party is over, doesn't mean your party has to stop. Keep it going with Whassup: Mardi Gratuitous Edition:

* ONSALE Thursday, March 6: 'Game of Thrones' Screening, Barclays: How do you make "Game of Thrones" bigger? Well, you could put it on a massive screen, for starters. Barclays will be doing just that, hosting a GOT "Epic Fan Experience." They will show the Season 4 premiere, two weeks early, on a stadium-sized screen. The event will also trudge along costumes and props from the show, the famous Iron Throne, and more swords and sorcery type stuff. Screening March 20, $15 tickets.

* Friday, March 7: Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction, Union Hall: If you're anything like me, you're tired of all this pansy, everybody-gets-a-ribbon, let's-all-get-along erotic fan fiction. What that shit needs is some hard-core COMPETITION. Well, thankfully, the first word in "Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction" is competitive. A set of comics will read and perform sexy shipping pieces about their favorite pop culture schlock. As the show itself proudly states, "It's really stupid." 8pm, $10.

 * Friday, March 7: March of Buffy, Bell House: The regularly occurring "Party Like It's 1999" nostalgia-fest sets its sights on that most '90s of vampire killers, Buffy. This edition of the '90s hip-hop and pop dance party celebrates the 1997 debut of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." Come kill some bloodsuckers with your sick moves. 10pm, FREE.

* Saturday, March 8: Making Brooklyn Bloom, BK Botanic Garden: The 33rd Annual Making Brooklyn Bloom event heralds the arrival of spring with a day's worth of talks, workshops and film screenings about sustainable gardening. Learn about street tree stewardship, take a walking tour of the Botanic Goarden and more. Full event list here. It's as good a way as any to begin undoing all that Seasonal Affective Disorder.10am-4pm, FREE. 

* Saturday, March 8: Saladversary, Just Salad: The long-hoped-for (at least by FiPS) salad restaurant finally arrived in Park Slope almost exactly a year ago. The Slope branch of Just Salad celebrates year one with an all day veggie-off of Free Frava Drinks, 50%-off smoothies and soups, free kid's facepainting, and more. All Day.

* Sunday, March 9: Yoga for Cats, Crow Hill Crossfit: No, the cats won't be performing yoga, but you will have the chance to do so -- in order to benefit those most stretchiest of pets, the beloved felines. Proceeds go to benefit nonprofit TASC, which aims to reduce stray populations through Trap-Neuter-Return. Just don't tell the cats that you did a thing called "Downward Dog" (or that you paid $20 to cut their balls off). Takes place at Crow Hill Crossfit, located at 800 Park Place. 4pm, $20.

* Through Monday, March 10: Casting "Rent," Gallery Players: If you've ever wanted to flaunt your singing-bohemian vocal chords in Brooklyn, here's your shot. Brooklyn's Gallery Players will be casting "Rent," a little musical that maybe you've heard of. 

* Wednesday, March 12: StoryCollider "Mental Health," Littlefield: You live in New York, so if you weren't crazy when you got here, you are by now. So this month's Story Collider, a collection of Moth-style stories with science themes, should be right up your dark, boogeyman-filled alley. A mental illness advocate, photographer, neuroscientist and more share their personal stories of Mental Health. 8pm, $10.