WHASSUP: It's Officially Summer Edition

The solstice has come and gone—Summer has officially begun. You have precious little time to soak up vitamin D before winter rears its ugly head and chases us all back inside for another treacherous bout with the elements. Until then, I suggest you get thee out thee house. Find patios and rooftops on which to enjoy cold seasonal brews and fruity, frozen cocktails. Get to the water AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE! Hop off the train a couple stops early and enjoy the walk.

This time of year is to be treasured. I don’t want to hear “I’m too hot.” No! Stop it right there. Get in shape, wear less clothes, bathe in a lake. Make it work, people.

Summer pep talk aside, there are some great goings-on that I want to tell you about. Some are most certainly better than others, but I suggest you take it all in and form your own opinions. Do you like sports? Music? Drinking? Video games? I want to know! Tell me all your inner outings desires and I’ll work hard to curate the best damn list of urban adventures this side of Newtown Creek—look it up.

What’s that you ask?  Whassup? Here’s Whassup:

Thursday, 6/26, U.S. vs. Germany, any bar with a TV: If you happened to catch the U.S. vs. Portugal match last Sunday, you’re likely ready for some retribution. We need but a tie to advance to the next round. Pop a cold one and cheer on our boys just a week shy of Independence Day. FREE

Thursday, 6/26, NBA Draft, Barclay Center: Nothing but net, swish, dunk, drained it—terms that were never used to accent my awkward basketball performance as a suburban youth. I was more of a swim team kind of guy. Come see the future as the NBA picks the stars of tomorrow. tickets start at $27, 7pm

Friday, 6/27, The Old Woman, BAM: Willem Defoe and Baryshnikov? Fuck yes. Never has the world seen an odder couple. Defoe’s gremlin-like demeanor vs. Baryshnikov’s pretty high kicks and spins. I’m in! Tickets start at $25, 7:30pm

Friday, 6/27, Toshi Reagon and BigLovely, Subculture: I generally avoid Manhattan at all costs, but these fuckers wrote in with their event and asked for some mention. Who am I to disappoint? Toshi apparently brings with her a pedigree and an undeniable talent to entertain with her musical styings. Enjoy. $20 advance, $25 day of, 7pm doors, 7:30pm show

Saturday, 6/28, The Rub, The Bell House: This is an institution, my friends. Time to get crunk—is that still a thing? The Rub has been chaffing hard since Summer 2002. It’s a sweaty dance party geared to all you real folks out there who are sippin’ the Brooklyn kool aid and loving it. $10 before midnight, $15 after, 10pm

Sunday, 6/29, Super Smash Bros. Melee, Union Hall: Fuck you, Smash Brothers! This game was the game when I was in college and I royally sucked at it. My roommates would roll out the Game Cube and delight in schooling me with their choice of lizrd, plumber, or ape. I wasn’t amused then and I’m not amused now. FREE, 7:30pm

Monday, 6/30, Plan a date night, Anywhere: Sometimes you have to go off on your own. Be creative. Surprise your lady or fella with a handcrafted night. Meet them at the train and whisk them off for an evening of dinner and drinks, or a walk in the park, or some other kinky shit you like. The “what” is not important. It’s truly the thought that counts on this one. 

Tuesday, 7/1, Brooklyn Botanical Garden: I would be remiss if I didn’t offer up some tiptoeing through the tulips on a nice summer day. The BBG is a badass horticultural romp through Brooklyn’s backyard. $10 adult, FREE kids under 12, 8am-6pm

Wednesday, 7/2, PBQ Presents: Madame BrainBridge’s Compendium of Primo Dong: The Launch Party, The Bell House: FYI: PBQ stands for ‘Pendelous Breasts Quarterly’. Full disclosure—I don’t know what any of this shit means, but Reggie Watts is in their lineup, so it can’t be half bad.  $5, 7pm doors, 8pm show