WHASSUP: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME EDITION

Today is my birthday. I don't expect a gift—although I wouldn't turn it away. Hell, I don't even expect you to care that it's my birthday—but as it is my number one holiday, I'll ask you to do me a solid. Get your ass out of your Eames chair, pry yourself away from your squash game with Muffy, resist the urge to congregate at some pretentious fucking restaurant that has 4 menu items, and go out and have a good time on the day I came into this world. Simple enough!

This week has quite the mélange of outings from which you may pick your poison. The weather is gorgeous, there are tons of great options out there, go out with your collective head held high. Do it right and do it now!

So WHASSUP? It's my party and I'll cry if I want to—that's WHASSUP:

Thursday, 8/14, My Birthday, Worldwide Celebration: Today I’m another day older, perhaps another day wiser. I hereby decree that we shall drink in the streets and raise havoc to end all havoc. Promise me you’ll do something fun, something off your beaten path, and something worthy of the 14^th day of the 8^th month.    

Friday, 8/15, The Mars Bonfire, Union Hall: Come see some of our baddest-ass followers/neighbors rip it real good. They’re joined by Brooklyn Sound Machine and Viking for an evening of music that’s sure to rock you out of your socks. $10, 8:30pm doors, 9pm show

Saturday, 8/16, Sarah Alden, Barbés: The violin is an unmitigated bitch to play. It takes years of practice just to make the damn thing sound like a cat isn’t being deflowered by a manatee—picture it. Sarah Alden handles the task masterfully and lends her talents to Barbés each Saturday.  $10, 6pm

Sunday, 8/17, The Muppet Vault: Muppets Most Wanted DVD Release Party, Union Hall: So many things in this godforsaken city cause us to grow up too fast. Why not hold on to our youth just a bit longer with the sweet little puppets that taught us so much. This event is a level 5 nerd alert, but I think it might just be worth it. $8, 7:30pm doors, 8pm show  

Monday, 8/18, Jazz Mobile, Brooklyn Bridge Park: Free jazz under the stars? Um, fuck yes. The summer is passing way too quickly. Head down to BBP while you can and enjoy this amazing weather. FREE, 7pm

Tuesday, 8/19, Brothel Blues Boss Miss Ida Blue, Freddy’s Bar: Miss Ida is no joke. She’s gonna hand you some authentic blues so expertly that you’ll swear you’re living it up in a speakeasy. Added bonus: she’s accompanied by a 1915 piano. Boom! FREE ENTRY, 7pm

Wednesday, 8/20, Ask Me Another, The Bellhouse: This evening has entertaining busting out of its fucking seams. First of all there’s trivia. Next there’s the house musician, Jonathan Coulton, who—if I remember correctly— penned the anthem “First of May.” Add Gilbert Gottfried to the mix and you’ll hope you paid up your Aflack premium because you might just bust a gut. $15 adv, $20 door, 6:30pm doors, 7:30pm show