We're all getting new driver's licenses and they're ugly

New York State is rolling out some new drivers licenses this July. And guess what? They're ugly as fuck. 

The motivation for the redesign? To combat forgeries of New York's current ID. The result is what the State Department of Motor Vehicles tells the Times will be "the most counterfeit and tamper-resistant document technologically available." New licenses will be laser engraved in grayscale on rigid polycarbonate that cannot be separated into layers, on material so stiff, "they sound like a compact disc when dropped." Some 30 security features, including "embedded fine lines, variable patterns, and micro-lettering" will be in place. There's also a second portrait of the driver (or a "ghost image") that float in a transparent window, viible from the front and the back. 

And if all that added security weren't enough, apparently the high cost of the production process might be enough to thwart the counterfeit market. Machinery to make this specific type of card is expensive and "not something a college student is going to be able to go out and get." (For what it's worth, new licenses will cost "almost $1 more per license to produce and print." But don't worry. "The department said that cost would not be passed on to drivers" and "the waiting time for new licenses would not change." A likely story).

Apparently Virginia did all of this in 2009, and since then they have not seen a "credible" forgery of of a Virginia license. 

Now, when it comes to thwarting identity theft and other criminal activity, I'm obviously in favor of anything the government thinks will help the cause. But a large portion of the Times piece has the department complaining about the "thriving and sophisticated counterfeit market, often based online, that caters to underage drinkers." And dammit if that just doesn't seem like the wrong battle to fight. First of all, there are 48 other states where these licenses aren't active. Kids will have plenty of opportunities to get a fake ID. Second of all, wouldn't we save ourselves a lot of money and stress if we just changed the drinking age to 18? I mean, I'm not looking to have a bunch of kids at my bar or anything, but I firmly believe if you teach kids to drink responsibly at a young age, that binge drinking shit won't be as big of a problem. And yes, I have no evidence of this besides the fact that my parents had us drinking wine with dinner at 12 years old (we're Italian) and me and my siblings never drank like assholes, but whatever. (While we're at it, I'd argue changing the driving age to 21, but that seems a little out of scope now).  

But my real problem with the new New York State driver's licenses harkens back to my first sentence of the piece: they're ugly as fuck. That "New York State" font? Seriously, could we not choose a better font? WTF are those diamonds? Plus, the spacing of the word "S   T   A   T   E" makes me want to kill myself. And the pink? If you're going to grayscale my photo, at least give me a better color in my license than pink! I know there's blue back there, but have you ever seen a license in a wallet? Unless you have one of those clear plastic sleeves, you only get the top part sticking out. As gay as I am, even  I don't want to be walking around with a pink license peeking out from my wallet. Could you have tried green? Black even! Something better than pink. It's bad enough this thing is going to be heavy as fuck. Does it have to be ugly too?

(Although look at a history of the licenses. They've never been cute.)

Anyway, that's my gripe about the new licenses. Luckily my current license doesn't expire until 2015, so I've still got some time. But how do you guys feel about them?