Vanity Fair Passes on Park Slope Mom Advice to Kate Middleton

Images via Brownstoner and Vanity FairVanity Fair recently rounded up a collection of pro-tips from Park Slope moms to the royal baby momma, Kate Middleton. Maybe? Honestly, these suggestions sound so absurd that it could be satire. Yet the absurdity seems right in line with the trend-chasing moms of the ‘hood. Take for instance this little nugget of wisdom:

“The good thing about having more than one is you worry less. With the first, you think things like, What if they die in their sleep? With the second, you simply don’t have time to watch them every second.”

When considering the Queen’s opinion on the matter, one Slope mommy points out:

“The Queen is likely going to favor George because one day he’ll have her job, whereas the new baby is kind of irrelevant.”

Or, my favorite:

“If you smoke a little pot, you can get really excited about getting down on the floor and doing a puzzle, or reading the same book over and over again. Of course, you need to be responsible about it.”

Yup, I’m still not sure. I really want to say it’s satire but, especially in the case of Slope breeders, the line between satire and reality is just too goddamn blurred. That being said, do any of you breeders out there have any genuine advice for Kate Middleton, as she expects her second royal baby? I say don’t be afraid to use chambermaids liberally. No need to clean dirty buttholes if you don’t have to.

VIA VANITY FAIR