Vanity Fair Imagines Would-Be Episodes of Friends, Includes Park Slope Food Coop Episode

Photo illustrations by Darrow

As someone who grew up in a family of Friends Superfans (a family that may or may not currently have three aging cats named "Phoebe," "Monica" and "Chandler"), I've seen how the death of a television show affects devotees. Aside from weeping into bowls of cereal, Superfans love to ponder what would have become of Ross, Rachel and the rest of the Central Perk gang, had they not gone the way of sitcom Heaven.  

Vanity Fair writer Juli Weiner (probably) wondered the same thing, so she wrote a few fictitious episode premises for Friends Season 18 -- the would-be current season, had it not ended after 10 seasons in 2004 --  one of which takes place in the Slope:

THE ONE WITH THE BULK SOYBEANS

RACHEL and ROSS meet a pushy neighbor, RACLETTE (guest star EVA LONGORIA), at the Park Slope Food Coop. Raclette tries to undermine the co-op’s board of directors, on which both Ross and Rachel sit, by attempting to save shifts for her friends. “No shift saving!” will become one of Ross’s most popular catchphrases.

"No shift saving" sounds pretty good, but nothing will ever compare to the best "Ross-ism:" Unagi.

[Via Vanity Fair]