This Week At The Food Coop: Zionist v. Lefty Live Hummus-Wrestling

Sunset for Sabra at the PSFC?

Yesterday came earth-shaking news from about the Middle-East: The Brooklyn Paper is reporting that the Park Slope Food Coop is edging toward public debate on whether they should maybe/possibly hold a referendum to join a boycott movement of all things Israeli...a move that has Zionist coop members on the verge of having a cow (Kosher and cruelty-free, of course). 

They're banding together in defense of this proverbial assassination attempt on the Jewish state by evil, anti-semitic lefties. I think we need to help them come up with a better name for their organization than the current "More Hummus Please." Folks, help out your Zionist neighbors here.

According to Coop member Barbara Mazor in the Brooklyn Paper article, “This boycott is about destroying the Jewish state. It is about not being willing to have Jewish sovereignty in the historical homeland of Jews,” said Mazor. “It’s about denying Jews the right to self determination.”

And Harvey Lang: “I’m really afraid that people will join a movement that is evil.”

And here it comes. Wait for it...

“Jews always feel that when somebody is trying to put us in the gas chamber, that we deserved it, that we should not respond to it. Those are the same people who attack Israel” said Esther Hertzel, a Crown Heights resident and 22-year Co-op member. “When Israelis were being killed by terrorists, then, ‘Fine, that’s what they deserve.’ But if Israel tries to defend itself, then they say, ‘Who gave you that right?’ ” 

In the other corner, supporters of the Campaign to Boycott, Divest, and Sanction Israel who—along with Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International—think Israelis are being big, fat meanies to the Palestinians and should cut out shit like using White Phosporus on the Palestinians in Gaza and rationing them to a trickle of water.

Oh hold your hummus, people.

Ann Herpel, a General Coordinator at the Food Coop, says that the agenda item is not yet scheduled for any upcoming General Meeting and they can't say when it will appear. Furthermore, the Coop functions as a democracy, and so it has to put up with all bloviating, impassioned dumbasses equally and democratically.

What she really said:

The Coop functions as a democracy--an intrinsic principle of a cooperative--and we hope our members exercise  their responsibilities as member-owners thoughtfully and seriously.The Coop has no comment about a meeting held off-premise at which no Coop staff were present.  

Frankly, I don't know who is more annoying: the Israel defenders or the precious lefties. Actually, I'm going with the Humbugs for Hummus for dealing the Holocaust card.

I just want to buy my organic escarole, my hummus, have a nice chat with my checkout person and go home. I will bow to wishes of the democratic voters attending the GM looking for an easy shift credit. They can decide at some unspecified later date whether my hummus comes from Queens or Tel Aviv.

In the meantime, I am going to exercise my democratic rights of free speech to tell you all to shut the fuck up be kind and tolerant to each other.