Superbowl XLIII: Jesus Christ Defeated Again by Swarthy, Closeted Jew.

See, I personally would have thought that G-d couldn't give a FUCK about football; but seeing as Mel Gibson's man-twat diddler and Arizona QB Kurt Warner has gone out of his way to point out again and again and again that Jesus gives him magical powers like Superman's earthsun, I guess we can take last night's Cardinal defeat as a sure-fire sign that G-d likes Jews more than He likes the Goyum.

Now if we could just have the Cardinals play the Gays!

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I Feel Really Weird About Going Into My Old Korean Deli While I'm Carrying Bags From Union Market

Back in the day I used to go to my 11th street bodega for everything. It was way closer, cheaper, and friendlier than Dagastino's near 6th, and jesus god did I hate that overpriced shithole. I was so psyched when I first discovered the 11th street place- decent vegetables, organic milk, good selection of cleaning shit; all-in-all a great place for the midweek re-stock.

But damn, when I heard they were opening a Union Market on 7th? I was ecstatic. That's when the South Slope really arrived. Fuck gentrification guilt and all that bullshit - I'm over it. If we gonna do this, we gonna do this, I don't give a fuck I'll say it: I love Union Market. Ok, so it's expensive as hell, but you get what you're gouged for. What's your other option? Yeah, like I'm gonna get lox and whitefish from a place that sells lotto.

Anyway, I've been friendly with the eccentric Mr. Miagi character at the 11th street place for years now. So even when I knew I'd be getting organic Romaine and Dagoba Chocolate instead of his stank Nestle, I always swore I'd go back to 11th street regularly for stock items and to support the local business.

And I do still represent - I go there for shit like GOYA BLACK BEANS (better and cheaper than any organic-ass shit you can get at Union Markup or Fairway) So I walk in with fifty dollars worth of groceries from Union Market, and holding my gigantic plastic bags of yuppie organic bounty, I pay him a dollar-thirty-five for a can of beans. That includes tax.

Now mind you, he's never said anything to make me feel bad. In my fantasy though, he's going through my bags saying "whata-this? You can a-buy tomato *here* we have tomato... Milk you buy-a here, we *have*!! Next time you buy from ME ok!?"

He's never said anything like that. Regardless though, I feel like he's starting right into the double-bagged designer plastic, burning a hole clear through my avocado butter.

I feel totally weird and self-conscious going in there like that. I suppose I could hide the bags at home, but fuck that; I'm not makin a second trip just for black beans.