RUSSIAN DOLLS: The Brooklyn 'Jersey Shore'

OMGZ ppls, you have no fucking clue how excited I am for the premiere, on August 11th, of Lifetime's new Brooklyn-based take-off on MTV's Jersey Shore: Russian Dolls.

On a scale of 1-10, I'm at like a 678.

Basically this shit is supposed to document the inner-workings of the Russian-American community in Brighton Beach by following 8 dolls and dudes as they eat caviar, wear fur coats and get spray tanned.

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'Bored to Death' Coming For Your Parking Spots

image via GothamistBored to Death will be stealing spots on the following blocks next week: 7th Avenue btw Garfield, and 2nd Street and First Street btw 7-8th Avenues.

I feel like I should probably watch Bored to Death one of these days. Sorry to say, I'll be out of town and unable to pay a personal visit to Zach Snuffalopolous, Jason Schwartzman and the inexplicably hot Jonathan Ames. Also, has anybody but me noticed that Jason Schwartzman is looking more and more like a hairy Stanley Tucci every day? 

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PREGNANT IN HEELS RECAP: I WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE RIGHT NOW

Ok, you guys, I gotta confess: I was so excited when I heard about this horrible, horrible new Bravo show Pregnant In Heels, because I thought: FINALLY! A show I can recap for FIPS! It's about a pregnancy concierge named Rosie Pope! WTF is a pregnancy concierge! Who cares, this show will rule!

But after watching the premiere epi last night, I've been splitting my time between:

• thinking of ways to kill myself
• thinking of ways of destorying every viable egg I may have lurking inside of my body now and forever.

There is no way I can recap this show every week, because you might kill me before I kill myself.

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'Pregnant In Heels'...Yes, This Is Real Life

Or at least, real life if you're a fucking maternity concierge on the UES.

Le gag.

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Park Slope Featured In An Ep Of Fringe

I saw the Twitterverse lighting up about this last night, but as I don't watch Fringe, I couldn't really join in on all the fun.

FIPS reader Phil breaks it down for us though:

"Last night's Fringe episode centered around Park slope. The two universes were colliding in an apartment building somewhere in PS (God knows where the actual location was since it clearly wasn't filmed there), which threatened to make a huge black hole that would swallow up both universes in a vortex. It seemed rather appropriate...Park Slope being at the center of not one but two universes."

Park Slope black holes? Vortexes? Universes colliding?...sounds bout right.

Here's a recap of the entire ep.